Tag: sincerity

  • My Guilt About Women in Niqab

    I feel extremely guilty but also bitter whenever I see photos intended to elevate the awareness and appreciation for women that wear niqab, and I despise myself for it. I’ve always held such women in the highest esteem. Living in a non-Muslim country, my respect for them was even greater knowing that they were establishing such modesty without anyone compelling them to do so.

    But after my absolutely close encounter with the hypocrisy and cowardliness that exists in these circles, it has tainted my views about niqabi’s in ways that have made it extremely difficult for me to reconcile my experiences with what could be a very different reality. Anyone that knows me will know that I despise generalisations, or holding people to account for something that they’re not responsible for. I also despise dragging people down if they’re making an effort to improve themselves while others are constantly focusing on their shortcomings. I’ve been on the receiving end for all of these trends, and it’s for these reasons, among others, that I despise my current state that leads me to feel repulsed at the sight of a woman in niqab. In fact, the word ‘despise’ is an understatement in this context.

    My negative experiences with women in niqab far outweigh my positive experiences, not because they were wearing niqab, but because of their actions and behaviours as individuals. So this is really a horrible case of memory by association that is really troubling me. I will let go of the association between my bad experiences and bad memories, and the act of wearing a beautiful adornment for women of modesty, Insha-Allah. But until then, this will always be a blatant reminder for me that the actions of those that appear overtly as Muslims can so easily taint the reputation of Muslims and Islam, and thereby drive others away from the beauty it has to offer, instead of inviting them through the simple acts that are beneficial and encouraged for us to practise.

    The same is true for men that dress according to the sunnah, wear the full length beard, adorn their heads with appropriate head coverings, and attend masjid for salaah with jamaah five times a day, and then swindle people out of money in order to make a profit, or beat their wives up out of frustration at the lack of their own manliness, or abuse the rights of their workers because they have authority over them.

    This is a pointless post, but Insha-Allah I’m hoping that writing about this for the first time in over a year since my horrid experiences with a niqabi in pursuit of a halaal marriage through halaal means will finally set me on the path towards putting that firmly behind me. It’s not a matter of needing to forgive, because that has already been done. It’s now clearly a matter of needing to forget.

  • Goodness lies in the person who doesn’t see goodness within himself.

    Imām Aḥmad b. Ḥanbal

  • Withdraw from the opinions of people and seek to find the beauty in it all by exploring the truth yourself. If we allow the opinions and tainted excesses of others to shape our thinking, it is inevitable that we will feel suffocated and disheartened because excess goes against our nature, whereas what Allah has deemed fit for us is closest to our nature. Excess in anything, good or bad, will lead to more harm than good. Therefore, choose a path of moderation and awareness. 

    Don’t be tainted by man and assume that they are a reflection of Allah. That is a flawed perspective on which to approach life. Instead, reflect on Allah and see the true nature of man. The more you seek closeness to Allah, the greater your success at understanding man. The more you understand man, the greater your appreciation of the magnificence of Allah. 

  • Choose your company wisely

    It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad, and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent, but silence is better than idle words

    The Prophet Mohammed (S.A.W)

  • Gratitude is not simply a state of mind

    Gratitude is not simply a state of mind, but rather a state of being. Appreciating someone but restraining yourself from openly expressing it, verbally or otherwise, is of no use to them, and only sows the seeds of selfishness in your own heart. True appreciation would result in a willingness to acknowledge the impact that someone else’s efforts or contribution has on your life. Anything less cannot be appreciation. If we are willing to consume, then we must also be willing to contribute as well. Otherwise we introduce an imbalance in our lives that can never lead to healthy relationships. Don’t let your fear of allowing significant others into your personal space result in the destruction of beauty in your life.

    As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

    John F. Kennedy

  • Why follow blindly?

    There’s a thought that’s been in the back of my mind for some time now. I’ve touched on this in several posts recently but still feel a need to spill these thoughts further. I’m constantly confused by how much emphasis is placed on the actions of pious predecessors, especially when the focus appears to be on mimicking their actions rather than understanding and applying the principles that gave rise to it. 

    It gets even worse when I see people suddenly quoting examples from the lifestyles of the pious scholars, even though there are much more poignant and admirable examples from the life of our Prophet (pbuh) as well as his companions. And this all supports my view about the cult-ish tones that are rife in the Ummah these days. 

    We all believe we’re that one sect of the seventy three that will enter Jannah, yet I keep wondering what was really meant by that Hadith that talks about the strangers, and glad tidings to those strangers, and on what basis do any of us hold a claim to be that chosen group? Isn’t that in itself arrogance, which is an attribute of the dwellers of Hell? I worry incessantly about the Hadith that reminds us that if our destiny has been pre-ordained for us to be in Hell, that we will fulfill that fate in the last moments of our lives, despite having lived a good life to that point.

    Then I’m also reminded of the fact that our sincere duas and efforts can alter this destiny of ours, but since we have no guarantee that such duas are answered, the sincere humility that it begs is something we can never afford to take for granted. So it all brings me back to the start of this brain dump, which is simply, instead of trying to imitate the actions of the saintly, shouldn’t we rather be striving to understand and appreciate the principles of Islam that they subscribed to? Only through understanding are we ever able to implement it within the context of our own lives, which to me, is the foundation for sincerity of intention. 

    I don’t know…sometimes it just feels like we’ve taken the beauty and simplicity of Imaan and turned it into a ritualistic cult that only the conformers to other’s interpretations of Islamic customs qualify for admission, and none shall have a right to question such interpretations except the chosen few with the appropriate man-endowed titles symbolising their scholarly endeavours that separates them from the awwaam.

  • My Struggle Continues

    It tires me just thinking about how futile some struggles can be. Many of my struggles fit this description quite well. Seeing all the posts about Muharram, about special occasions, about noted personalities, and scholarly quotes, and admirable leaders…all this sometimes inspires me, but most times it tires me. 

    It reminds me of how much people focus their lives around special occasions and forget to live in between. It reminds me about how so many become cult followers of notable personalities and inadvertently create sects within the Ummah. I see people arguing about who should have been the leader of the Muslims after the demise of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) as if that would influence their imaan or standing in Allah’s eyes as individuals…and they forget how many transgressions they commit in the process of such useless debate. 

    We’ve become historians about Islam more than we are believers…we need so badly to be right about whose view is correct and whose is kufr that we’ve lost sight of the essence of Islam. We focus on who practices which rituals and compartmentalise them so that it’s easy to define where they fit in the hierarchy of believers, as if we’re even capable of gauging the true worth of anyone. And all this leaves me feeling quite disillusioned about life and this Ummah that I so desperately want to feel a part of…but I don’t.

    I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, despite sharing the same articles of faith, and the same passion for peace and tranquility of the soul in finding serenity in the remembrance of Allah. But…sigh…it doesn’t seem to matter. Presentation is much more important than substance these days. The embellishment of the facade determines our worth in the eyes of others…reminds me of something someone posted recently that struck a chord with me…despite your best intentions, society will judge you by your appearance, but despite your best appearance, Allah will judge you by your intentions. Still, we focus on appearance…we focus on appearance…and social circles…and prestige…and social standing…and outward religiosity…and when this becomes the preoccupation of my mind, I remind myself that a prostitute was granted Jannah for a single sincere act of kindness to a dog…that same prostitute would have been openly declared by many a scholar as being a kaafir because of her chosen line of work…or her dress code…or her social standing…yet she was a Jannati…but STILL, we judge by appearance…and have useless debates that never strengthens our imaan but only strengthens our pride or arrogance because of our skill at debating and nothing more…it’s so tiring…utterly exhausting…

  • My Greatest Fear

    I fear hypocrisy more than I fear disbelief. Determining, subjectively or objectively, whether one is on the path of Imaan or Kufr is relatively easy, with the most daunting obstacle in this path possibly being arrogance or pride. And both arrogance and pride quickly subsides in the face of overwhelming odds. So at such a point, it would be quite easy to determine whether I’m a believer or not.

    Hypocrisy is so much more difficult to identify, both within ourselves and in others. Blatant hypocrisy is easy. Seeing someone visibly making statements about their beliefs and then deliberately or equally blatantly acting in contradiction to those beliefs is a litmus test of hypocrisy that anyone can apply, regardless of education, intelligence or upbringing.

    But hypocrisy can be easily disguised through the conscious application of our intelligence, especially if we’re naturally self aware. I can easily observe my own actions relative to my statements in front of others, and through conscious thought, ensure that they are always aligned. But if my motivation to do so is to appear to be sincere and consistent to others to save myself from criticism or ridicule, then this is when I believe I’ll be standing on the edge of hypocrisy and potentially not even realising it because at that point, if practiced for long enough, I would possibly succumb to internal debates that justify my actions to myself because my actions are beyond reproach by others. But…this internal debate is what I fear most as the potential seat for hypocrisy.