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Burn yourself, why don’t you.
Anger always claims a higher price from ourselves than it ever will from the people on whom we project it. And before you assume that to be false because of the lasting impact that it has on its victims, understand that that lasting impact is because of their anger at the one who was taking…
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Trading the future for the past
Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the struggle to build the future that we want, while forgetting that it’s a struggle because we’re still living in the past. Our expectations about what opportunities lie ahead, or what we believe we’re capable of achieving, are defined by what we believe to be true about the events that…
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Confidently you…and only you
The question is, do you know yourself well enough to have an informed opinion of yourself? When we rely on others for more than just feedback, and instead, we allow them to validate who we are, we essentially give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves. Listening to what others think of…
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Assumed to be inadequate
Assumptions are those things that eventually appear as facts because we’ve been making those assumptions for so long that we don’t see reason to question it any longer. It’s a theme that sets in over a long period of time, and becomes the lens through which we see the world. More importantly, it becomes the…
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Defending myself into misery
Defensiveness is driven by a belief that you’re under attack. Hence the need to defend ourselves when someone tries to correct us. The defensive response on our part confirms that we assume their intention to be other than genuine concern for what we’re experiencing. We also assume that we must be right to feel a…
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Collective guilt, collective malice
One of the trappings of the victim head space is that it convinces us to surround ourselves with those who will understand why we’re weak, or why we behave badly, because they themselves struggle with similar demons. Our need to avoid rejection or to feel validated causes us more harm than good. The comfort that…
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Kill the label. Kill the stigma.
⚠ Trigger Warning ⚠ The moment we attach a label to a life experience, we focus on the label and discard the merits of the experience. We make people invisible when we deny the reality of their experience by suggesting that there is something clinically wrong with them, despite causality of their emotional upheaval being…
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Bitter sweet nostalgia
Nostalgia is a beautiful thing, if we connected with the joy in those moments. Otherwise, it is torturous, as we remind ourselves of what we’ve lost, while losing the present moment along with those memories. Mindfulness of the blessing of the present moment is the only way to live a fulfilled life without courting regret.…