Life has never been simple, and only threatens to become more complicated with each day that passes.
Sometimes I flirt with the idea that perhaps I was destined to struggle with so much so that I can learn the lessons that need to be learnt to share them with others.
But my gut says that is not true.
“Whatever ill you experience is sent forth by your own hands.”
A verse from the Qur’an that is always a stark reminder that life is always more difficult when you are unaware of the full breadth of the consequences of your choices and decisions.
The less wisdom you have about life when you set out to create one from very little at your disposal, the more mistakes you must make to acquire the wisdom that others simply inherited from a wholesome upbringing.
Comparing notes is forever an indulgence in self-pity. That’s why I never compare notes.
Whenever I find myself on the wrong end of the life that I thought i was creating, I take a moment to pause.
To reflect.
To catch my breath.
To understand.
Then I shrug off the self-pity and forge ahead once more.
If the best efforts of my life will result in nothing more than misery, then I want to be damn certain that it’s a misery that I choose and not one imposed by others.
And in the process, I’ll laugh heartily and mock cynically at my repeated attempts to figure things out by myself.
Because when you don’t have a gentle hand guiding you through life, you need to brace yourself for colourful experiences.
The moment you stop to lament the absence of that gentle hand, you’ll lose yourself to its absence, and become one with the harshness of the world that has no place for innocent mistakes.
You don’t need others to be kind to you before you learn how to be kind to yourself.
Nor do you need others to be supportive before you believe, with conviction, in what is important to you.
Any excuse about not pursuing the life that you want because of the absence of support from others is nothing but an excuse that denies you the value of who you are.
The trials that we face are the unintended consequences of the decisions that others have made, while the ill that we experience is the unintended consequences of our own poorly informed decisions.
Strive towards not being a trial for others by being more mindful and diligent about the decisions that you make for yourself.
And when you get it wrong, allow yourself to be human, own your mistakes, and try again.
Life was never designed to be mastered on the first attempt.
Where would be the fun in that?
