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The fallacy of what was meant to be…

On the surface, this seems like a really positive perspective on life, right?

But let’s unpack it very quickly.

Being thankful for the experiences that we’ve had has merit because there is nothing so bad that there is no good in it.

What we take from our experiences is what gives us the opportunity to grow and to experience greater depths of emotions – both good and bad.

It’s only in experiencing the bad that we are able to appreciate the good, or else we’d take it for granted.

However, it’s the last part of this that I believe is a dangerously false notion to adopt.

Where you’re meant to be by whom? By what?

When we believe this to be true, we have less reason to question our uninformed or poor decisions that got us to this point because, you know, this is where we’re MEANT to be. Right?

It’s the last part that is false. It carries with it a fatalistic view of the outcomes of our lives because it implies that no matter what we did, we’d still be at this point because it was meant to be.

How does this kind of thinking affect someone who is tired of finding their efforts being taken for granted? Or no matter how hard they’ve tried, they keep finding themselves struggling to find peace or healthy relationships, or fulfilment, or success?

Is it because they were meant to be in such straitened circumstances by some force that g they have no control over?

Before you whip out the arguments about taqdeer, fate, destiny, and all that, consider what the point would be of our power of choice and reason if everything that happens to us was simply prewritten regardless of our effort to be better or achieve better than that.

If that understanding of destiny was true, what would be the point of applying ourselves towards any goal at all? Wouldn’t everything happen regardless of our efforts since it was ‘meant to be’?

It’s more accurate to say that the outcomes of the choices that we made was unavoidable because we didn’t know what we didn’t know. But that’s why we made bad choices, or naive decisions.

Not because it was meant to be, but because we didn’t know what we didn’t know.

Own Your Life.

#selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #lifecoaching #zaidismail

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