Given my overactive and often morbid imagination my mind often plays out the worst case scenarios of even the best circumstances. So it’s easy to imagine exactly how torturous and depressing my thoughts can be when the odds are stacked against me. However, it’s precisely my knowledge of this inherent morbidity of mine that I need to establish a level of trust in humanity that has always bordered more on naivety than trust. But that’s assuming that I know the difference.
I don’t. And that’s probably why I’ve had as colourful a life as I have. But the years eventually jades even the most optimistic of souls, and the boyish hopeful spirit in me eventually gets tampered with enough reality to create a healthy dose of cynicism, but coupled with the innate sense of idealistic optimism, it’s proven to have created a healthy balance for reflection at times when my soul is most troubled. But reflect or not, the dis-ease of my soul never subsides for long enough to allow any sense of peace to have a lasting effect.
And so the trust I place in man, and more importantly the trust I place in the Almighty is all that I have to hold on to if I am to retain any sense of sanity in this insane world. Exhale! … it only seems to let the air out, but the toxins remain firmly lodged within.