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How much are you worth?
When your behaviour is driven by how others treat you, the good times become dull, and the bad times become dreary. It might seem endearing to focus on how others treat you so that you can return the favour if they’re being sweet or kind, but that means that you are not being true to…
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Ungratefully appreciative
Words that carry good intention but lack conviction, often causes more harm than good. Like expressing appreciation for the blessings that we have, but treating those blessings with disregard because we lack true gratitude for it. The expression of appreciation towards something is the equivalent of a good intention, and nothing more. Gratitude runs much…
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Selective inheritance
Our relationship with our parents, whether they were present or absent, wholesome or abusive, will have a distinct impact on how we shape our character through life. Not only will we develop our sense of self based on how we felt in their presence, but they are also our main point of reference in how…
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Recycling generational trauma
One of the biggest mistakes in trying to break the generational trauma cycle is that we focus on NOT wanting to be like our parents. All that allows us to do is figure out what we don’t want for ourselves and our children. While that might seem like enough, it also means that we will…
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The courage to parent properly
The courage that is needed, is the courage to seek sincere, informed advisors to help us to understand why we may be struggling to connect with our children. We don’t know what we don’t know. If we try to figure life out by ourselves, we’ll only ever learn the hard way, from our own mistakes.…
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A path to insanity
We work with the assumption that our partners and our children share the same values that we try to uphold in our lives. This is rarely true. While we may share the same frame of reference or even the same cultural norms, values are much more personal, and therefore unique. Our personal value systems are…
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Do what’s right, or else…
When raised with fear and compliance as the tool to ensure good behaviour, or religious subscription, we create validation-seeking individuals whose willingness to compromise on what is right will be driven by social acceptance. Instilling values in our children, or living by our own values, must be grounded in a substantial appreciation for why it…
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That war within
Sometimes that village is a family, sometimes it’s a group, and sometimes it’s just one person who represents everything that the village stands for. That child grows into the raging adult who destroys every wholesome thing, because they feel like no one deserves peace if they were denied love and acceptance. When you treat the…