Zaid Ismail
@zaidie@zaidismail.com
Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.
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Are you there for you?
We’re more inclined to recognise the needs of the weak, than we are of the strong. Without meaning to, we diminish the humanness of those who persevere without complaint, because they often make it look so easy. When we’re the strong ones persevering without complaint, we risk diminishing our own humanness as well, because we…
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Destroying peace to find peace
Rage is a destructive demand for significance when we believe that who we are is not enough to be important to those we love. The anger that spurs on the rage is a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from becoming invisible. We try, in our own little futile ways, to be enough without being able…
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Honourable destruction
When honour is confused with social standing, abuse becomes an acceptable form of saving face. Beyond considerations of family honour, this toxic cultural practice convinces the individual that infidelity becomes excusable because divorce is deplorable. It convinces the brute of the justification of their rage when their partner rejects dehumanising practices by their in-laws. It…
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Do you matter to you?
To be of consequence, or to feel significant, lies at the heart of our inspiration to accomplish anything. When we connect with conviction to the significance of who we are, and what value we add to the lives of others, we achieve a sense of peace and contentment. But, when we doubt this, we set…
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To be loved
To be seen… Beyond the facade. To have the essence of who we are, known to those we trust and hold dear. To be heard… Not only when we cry out, but also when we speak gently of the troubles in our heart. To be loved… For more than how we make others feel, but…
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Emotional wellbeing, not mental health
It is only through our internal wars that we lose sight of reality. The culture of labeling people dehumanises the very human that is struggling with their humanness. We focus on our demons so intently, that we become defined by them, bearing them patiently in quiet shame, protecting ourselves from being exposed for what we…
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A path to insanity
We work with the assumption that our partners and our children share the same values that we try to uphold in our lives. This is rarely true. While we may share the same frame of reference or even the same cultural norms, values are much more personal, and therefore unique. Our personal value systems are…
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Do what’s right, or else…
When raised with fear and compliance as the tool to ensure good behaviour, or religious subscription, we create validation-seeking individuals whose willingness to compromise on what is right will be driven by social acceptance. Instilling values in our children, or living by our own values, must be grounded in a substantial appreciation for why it…