Someone recently accused me of making it easy for people to leave me. They were right. I do that because I can’t bear the thought of people doing anything for me out of obligation. It must be sincere or not at all. Otherwise I feel pathetic because it seems as if they’re doing something for me out of pity for the supposed state I’m in. I’d rather be alone than be surrounded by people that view me pitifully.
Incidentally, the very same person that accused me of this also promised never to stop the ‘friendship’. It’s been a while since they felt like a friend, or even bothered to reach out and see if I’m ok. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I’ve been through this cycle enough times to see it coming a mile away. No, it’s not a self-fulfilled prophecy. I’d rather make it easy for people to leave because that way, at least I have the comfort of knowing that anyone who sticks around is there either because they genuinely give a damn, or because they need something from me. And it’s quite easy to tell the difference. Isn’t it?