Tag: society

  • Society’s Slaves

    People in general will see you as they fear themselves to be, but those with good hearts will see you as they aspire to be. Having been on the receiving end of significant criticism recently, I almost forgot to remind myself of that age old wisdom that says that your actions define who you are, not who I am. And so the same applies with your comments and your criticism.

    It’s rare to find people who criticise sincerely, but more importantly, it’s even more rare to find people who criticise from an informed perspective. Our penchant to want to be proven true about something insightful often leads many to offer their uninformed opinions cloaked in bookish bombast (I’ve always loved that phrase that I know will make people think me to be even more pretentious than before). The truth is, our search for significance drives us towards less than admirable behaviour more often than we’d care to acknowledge, and often even more than we would realise.

    I probably am guilty of much of the pretentiousness that I am accused of, but the truth is, I don’t care since it’s mostly with a deliberate intent. While reflecting on all the criticism that I’ve received lately most of which was subtle and not as overtly obvious as it was intended, I had to remind myself that my inclination to contradict the mainstream is not an adult fetish but rather a trait that has accompanied me and served me well my entirely life. Of course, that is entirely subjective given that many would probably classify me as a recluse, but the truth is, this same attitude of mine is what has seen me through many life threatening and life altering experiences, a fraction of which has literally caused many others to crumble under the sheer burden of it.

    So it’s unlikely that I will choose to change my approach to life, and people any time in the near future, if ever. People have proven to be inconsistent, just like me, because the same way I doubt myself so often, so do they. I guess the burden of being inherently introspective and somewhat socially averse (not to be mistaken for anti-social!) is that it inevitably paints a target on my back that makes me fair game for those seeking to pacify themselves about their own shortcomings and prejudices. But that has had no influence in dissuading me before, and I don’t intend to give it much credence now either.

  • Quote

  • Contaminated

    It’s sad that the moral decay of society has resulted in so many wholesome phrases becoming an embarrassing utterance no matter how innocently they may be stated. A few that came to mind this morning include:

    • “Bend over and take it like a man” – this was a common statement by friends and teachers alike when corporal punishment was still allowed in schools in South Africa, and I was due for a ‘6 of the best’ with the teacher’s cane. (Damn, even ‘teacher’s cane’ has taken on a different meaning these days!)
    • “We were so happy and gay” – another phrase that cannot be uttered by anyone that has no desire to want to be assumed a homosexual. We can effectively change the definition of the word ‘gay’ in the English dictionary to one that has explicit sexual connotations since no one in their right mind would use it to describe their happiness any longer.
    • “I’m going to walk the dog” – for those that may not be familiar with this awkward statement, specifically if uttered by a man, consider yourself blessed. 
    • “I gave my wife a pearl necklace as a wedding gift” – such a beautiful sentiment and profession of generosity defiled by the twisted mentality of society. Again, if you’re unfamiliar with this, consider yourself blessed, and I therefore apologise in advance if this post leads you to research the meaning of this. (btw, Urban Dictionary would be a good place to start!)
    • “I’m coming” – by far the most innocently used phrase that has led to far too many embarrassing moments for grown men with modesty, especially if yelled out from another room while a group of people were waiting for him to leave for some place.

    Sad, isn’t it? :-/

  • Disordered Minds – follow up

    The speech that I wrote for my niece seemed to have fared well. She received full marks and was asked to present herself and her speech to the regional head of department from the Department of Education in South Africa. She received more positive feedback from the HoD as well. 

    Earlier this week, she came to me again for advice, but this time it was about a poster she needed to compile for an Afrikaans assignment regarding social decay, or something like that. For some reason, I’m still the first person she seems to think of whenever topics of this nature come up. But the part that tickled me most about it was that she took the following quote from my original post, translated it into Afrikaans and reused it on her poster. The quote was:

    “Of all the things we take for granted in life, our power of choice is probably the most abused gift we’ll ever receive.”

    Then she looked at me and said that it was the quote that “I got from that Cynically Jaded guy”. She still doesn’t know that I am that guy. 🙂

  • I just deleted about 30 posts from my blog. Many of them left me feeling self-indulgent and some were associated with a plagiarist that I was once again naive enough to trust. I loved some of the content, but I couldn’t in good conscience keep it published on my blog knowing that it was part of an elaborate scheme of deception, regardless of the motivation.

    Betrayal is my weakness. More accurately, being betrayed is what deflates me more than any other experience in the world. I sometimes despise my old school values. It places a burden on me akin to juggling hot coals in my hands. It forces me to accept the wickedness in others, and constantly challenges me to suppress my ego in my efforts to accept and forgive, so that I can gather my strength to move on again.

    I sometimes feel a strong desire to lash out and discard decorum in my efforts to expose the bullshit of the callous players that toy with the emotions and compassion of others. I never do, because I’m painfully aware of the reality that this world celebrates aggressors and tyrants and humiliates victims.

    I needed to recalibrate my blog so that it is a reflection of me, and not of what I would like others to see in me. This is my ventlet to criticise the world for its bullshit and double standards. I smile sadly at the thought of those that find reason to lie about losing a loved one in order to gain attention, juxtaposed with the news that six family members died in a car crash under excessively tragic circumstances.

    Society has a low self-esteem, and it’s reflected in the actions of the weakest amongst us. The attention-seekers, of which there is no scarcity, often succumb to self-pity and self-loathing, then express such emotions to a public audience, who inevitably pour out their affections in the hope of raising the spirits of one they identify with so easily, all the while dismissing the nagging realisation that they feel a sense of purpose only when they’re extending a hand to one they see as lesser than themselves. It’s easier to earn significance in that manner rather than to establish your worth through selfless fulfilment of your duty to society.

    We have more consumers than we have contributors to the collective wholesomeness of society. The contributors are fighting the debilitating symptoms of compassion fatigue, while the consumers do nothing but cry foul and wait impatiently for their lot to be improved by someone else.

  • I pray that I will never be beholden to society. Such obligation has seen the most well-meaning turn into the most attention-seeking. And if the profession of humility is in itself arrogance, then I am already teetering on the brink of such filth by making this statement to begin with.

  • Disordered Minds

    For those of you that had a good laugh at my expense regarding my niece’s association between her topic for a speech at school and me, I thought I’d share the final product of what I wrote for her. The actual topic was Disordered Minds and not Destructive Minds. I’m still not too keen on the association though. There’s some subtle self-indulgence given that she is not aware of this blog of mine, so I included a few of my own quotes in the third person, in the hope of indoctrinating her with my ramblings. 🙂

    I’m eighteen. It’s that age when I believe I have all the answers and grow frustrated at the stupidity of the world. It’s also that age when the intensity of my emotions often overpowers my sense of reason. Worse still, it’s that age when the government believes that by having existed for this long, I am supposedly capable of making important life-altering decisions for myself. But nonetheless, it is an age full of passion, often misguided, but always full of desire to change the world. I’ve lived an interesting life, often with more challenges than most, but those challenges have shaped me into who I am today.

    This realisation of self has not come easily. It has come at the expense of significant sacrifices and often tough choices. Before you dismiss me as being smug or conceited, hear what I have to say, then reflect on it, and lastly be brutally honest with yourself about the truth of it within the context of your own life.

    When faced with the prospect of having to write a speech on a selection of topics made available to me, I couldn’t decide between Disordered Minds or True Love. This confusion arose not only because I can often relate to both, but also because I see so much genius being wasted around me. True love is often quoted as being the trigger for much insanity in this world. This world is still a largely undiscovered space for me, although having access to Google often fools me and many of my peers into believing that we have acquired a level of wisdom that elevates us beyond many adults in our lives. However, we fail to realise the difference between the acquisitions of knowledge, versus the acquisition of wisdom. So I won’t assume to be an authority on true love, which leaves me with no other option but to write about that which plagues me most, a disordered mind.

    “A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.”

    This quote by Kurt Vonnegut reminds me of the reality of life as a teenager. Allow me to repeat that. A sane person to an insane society must appear insane. There is wisdom in this beyond what is immediately obvious. One of the points this raised for me is that in my quest to determine the course of my life, I often fail to realise that I may not be using the correct point of reference against which to determine the soundness of my decisions. Having the correct point of reference makes the difference between peace and chaos, or intelligence and stupidity. I also realised that my point of reference must be aligned with the value system that I want to live by. But this would mean that I would need to have established my value system before choosing, or else my choice will be grossly misinformed.

    Consider this. Would you watch the evening news or Isidingo* to determine the state of reality in South Africa? Although I must admit that with all the shenanigans by politicians these days, Isidingo is not far off. But seriously though, by extension, it would be foolish of me to look to other similarly troubled teenagers for direction on how to lead my life, when they’re obviously grappling with the same or similar issues as I am. This is what I mean by choosing my points of reference.

    Being bombarded with nonsensical and often inappropriate adult themes in movies, advertising, and promotions of all kinds, it makes it easy to assume that what we see around us is the only reality there is. If we just scratched very lightly beneath the surface, we’ll quickly witness how it all falls apart. Most of our choices are driven by a single feeble motivator; that is social acceptance. More often than not, I see people doing things they despise simply because their need for acceptance is greater than their need for self-respect.

    “Of all the things we take for granted in life, our power of choice is probably the most abused gift we’ll ever receive.”

    These are the words of a blogger that goes by the name of ‘Cynically Jaded’.  There’s one more thought that the same blogger shared that I believe is most appropriate right now:

    “There are two things in this world that should never define you. Society, and age.”

    Disordered minds are those that cave in to peer pressure and forget what they stand for. Disordered minds are a social liability. Be true to who you are, and remember that only those that stood apart managed to change the world, because those that tried to fit in faded into the background of the crowds that tried to be just like everyone else. Normal is over rated. I’d rather be unique.

    *Isidingo – South African soapie that often deals with topical issues affecting the average South African.

  • Life’s Lessons

    Our life’s experiences don’t always leave a sweet after taste, but it always strengthens our senses to appreciate so much that the less-trialled may take for granted. I sometimes come across individuals that are matured well beyond their years, and my thoughts are usually ambivalent about their state.

    Do I feel happy for them that they have acquired an appreciation for life at such a tender age, or do I decry the hardships and struggles that they were already exposed to whilst others their age were pre-occupied with petty decisions about social circles and fashion fads?

    Perhaps they’re not at such a tender age after all. Perhaps society has, in its insatiable self-loathing and insecurity, stripped our youth of their maturity and instead caused children to appear as sensual adults. We’ve robbed them of their sense of wholesomeness and modesty and replaced it with an angst that even we don’t know how to unravel.

    Of all the teenagers and young adults that I’ve encountered in my life, the ones with the most grave misgivings about life were either spiritually void, or subscribed to a spiritual code out of fear or obligation, rather than conviction, which I guess leaves them spiritually void anyway. Spirituality is constantly being attacked out of sheer ignorance with science being presented as a dismal substitute.

    It’s just sad.