Category: Random Thoughts

  • If I had it my way

    Bipolar Disorder would be called Bipolar Personality. You could be so colourfully delightful if you just weren’t so extreme.

    Obsessive Compulsive Disorder would be renamed as Obsessively Impulsive, since chances are good that you’re mostly giving in to impulse and ignoring reason because at times we all feel like we don’t give a damn, and that perfection must be worshipped.

    Schizophrenia would be something like Spurious Mania, because we all have those inclinations to want to role play and act out our fears and hopes in unrestrained proportions, but some of us don’t because we’re shy and introverted, and others don’t because they have other ways of expressing themselves more creatively.

    People who ‘innocently’ refuse to take accountability for their actions should be punishable by law and forced to do community service.

    People who deliberately provoke others to bring out the worst in them just so that they can say ‘I told you so’ must be dragged out in public and flogged with whips made of foreskins. 

    And most of all, people that pretend to be normal must be placed in homes for the handicapped, because if you are able to maintain normality in a world like this, then you either haven’t been paying attention, or you lack the faculties with which to understand what is really happening, both of which are a threat to society. To be normal is to be complacent. There is far too many normal people in this world. 

    Personality ‘disorders’ wouldn’t exist because people will realise that we all are screwed up when in a weakened spiritual state. Don’t confuse spirituality with religiosity, too many people do that already, which would probably contribute the most to the group of those that deserve to be flogged in public with foreskins. 

  • What dreams may come…

    It’s been a strange few days. I haven’t felt this disconnected in a while. Morbidly detached. Going through the motions. Knowing that all that I have on my plate will quite quickly dissipate into insignificance soon enough only to be replaced with a fresh set of challenges. I don’t really mind that at all. It feels like progress in some morbid way, knowing that I’ve overcome some challenges and realising that I will be faced with new ones soon enough.

    The lull never lasts. It’s as if I’m destined to be challenged at every stage of my life, and the only thoughts that keep me sane is that I know I’ve overcome worse before, and I convince myself that every challenge that I overcome is a preparation for something greater. My education at the hands of life has been invaluable, and there’s not a single book, article, or class I could have taken at any point that would have prepared me in any way for what I’ve had to contend with so far. 

    No amount of study or reading would have prepared me for a life with a borderline violent psychotic, or the unexpected death of a loved one, or the estrangement of a child, or the harrowing helplessness of unemployment when I had loved ones that depended on me to take care of them. Nothing could prepare me for betrayal. Nothing could prepare me for life. The only thing I could do was ensure that I…never mind…this all seems pointless…reflecting like this…regurgitating the day’s insanity in the hope that I’ll be able to construct something meaningful out of the senselessness of so much. I can’t. Perhaps I just don’t want to right now. Perhaps I’m just hoping for an endearing response from a significant other that doesn’t exist…perhaps I’m just…

  • Clutter

    Looking around the room and seeing things that annoy me because it’s not actively used, and at the same time lacking the resolve to get rid of it just in case I may need it creates more clutter in the brain than the clutter in front of me. Aaarrggghhh… 🙁 Vicious vicious circle indeed…because eventually, on a bad/good day when I eventually decide to dump some of it, I end up needing something that I threw out within a day or two of getting rid of it. And then I end up going out to buy it again, and of course, add a few other items to the cart for ‘just in case’ or ‘should be nice’ or ‘hmmm, I could do something with that!’… and the clutter starts all over again. Retail therapy, how therapeutic is it really?