Zaid Ismail
@zaidie@zaidismail.com
Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.
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Don’t honour your fear
Fear is a tricky emotion. When we feel the fear rising within us, it’s the first time that we become aware of something that threatens our peace or our significance. But because it’s also the most prominent emotion that connects with us physically, it often feels more real than it is. That’s why we respond…
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Abandon your values, abandon your peace
There are times when the burden of standing alone weighs down heavily enough to convince us to just let go. Most often, we’re focused on letting go because holding on is too hard, and not because we’re creating something better in its place. When we let go for the wrong reasons, we compromise who we…
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Does it matter what you deserve?
While it’s true that we pursue only that which we believe we deserve, or what we believe we’re capable of achieving, the irony of life is found when we pause to consider what we deserve in the first place. It’s a distraction that leads us further from purpose and closer to self-serving behaviour. It’s a…
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The burden of self-loathing
Allow me to explain… “I trust more easily those who expose the struggles of their lives, rather than those who live a life of pretend.” Our need to pretend is evidence of self-loathing. “But not those who present their struggles to justify their shortcomings.” Too many preempt being judged harshly about what they know they’re…
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Do you matter when it matters most?
I often hear about people who are frustrated at not being able to get through to someone. The most common assumption when that happens is that we’re obviously not important to them, or what we need isn’t important to them. Sometimes, that may be true. Especially when it comes to those who are not close…
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Do you remember you?
In the face of rejection, it becomes easier to claim who we are. But not always. Sometimes we claim a version of ourselves as a protest against those who judge us harshly. If we don’t realise that we’re doing it, we’ll convince ourselves that we need to be that way to save face or to…
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A burdensome labour of love
Responsibility, when met with gratitude, feels like a labour of love. Remove gratitude, and it becomes a burdensome load. But only if gratitude is expected. That’s when expectations weigh down on us more than responsibility, because of the internal wait for others to reciprocate, or to notice. It’s not unreasonable to hold that expectation. In…
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Betrayed expectations
Without realising it, expectations create an underlying sense of entitlement regarding the outcomes that we want. That entitlement is what influences our attitude and demeanour in how we approach things or relationships. When we feel justified to have such expectations, we lose sight of the entitlement, which leads to the intensity of emotion that we…