Tag: illness

  • Random thoughts about scholars, Islam and Ramadaan

    The Imam that gave the khutbah on the Friday before Ramadaan started said something that was really concerning. It came across as his interpretation of what was being stated in the verse or hadith that he referenced, and has left me feeling uneasy ever since. Even more so because I spent the better part of the first week of Ramadaan unable to fast due to illness.

    He claimed that those people who did not fast, or at least did not observe the benefits of the month of Ramadaan, it was Allah’s way of excluding them because Allah didn’t need their contributions. This concerns me because it seems to go against the principle that Allah will guide anyone who chooses to be guided. If we disagree with this view, it would imply that Allah will actively misguide someone, and if that happens, then two key issues arise. Firstly, what chance has a person got of achieving Jannah if they are being misguided by Allah? None. Secondly, if Allah is misguiding them, then how can they be held accountable for being misguided? They can’t, since they have no power against Allah’s will. 

    So, logically, I cannot accept that interpretation to be true. It further got me reflecting on the benefits that I may be losing out on because I was unable to fast. Was I being deprived of Allah’s mercy for a fasting person, or was I in fact being blessed with having my sins expiated during a month where every good is increased tenfold? Trusting that Allah’s mercy precedes His anger, I am inclined to believe the latter. 

    The ‘fire and brimstone’ approach of encouraging people towards good was never a hallmark of the advice given by Rasulullah (SAW). This is something that I most often notice from ‘scholars’ (and I use that word lightly) that mimic their non-Muslim counterparts, and often, it stems from the cultural tendencies of the East where kids are raised by fear of repercussions rather than love for compliance. I am of North Indian descent, so this is my first hand experience, and not conjecture. I’ve witnessed many rituals being contaminated by this same mindset, especially where the issues border on mysticism, or include the jinn. The amount of cross cultural contamination of Islam amongst Indians and Pakistanis is extremely concerning. And I guess the words of the Imam on that Friday just raised all those alarm bells again for me. 

    This is not a generalised swipe at all Muslims of Indian or Pakistani descent. There are many that are actively involved in clearing the misconceptions about what is Islam versus what is cultural baggage. I guess I just despise the approach to Islam that seems to focus on the potential punishments behind every non-compliance rather than focusing on the beauty and benefit that can be gained from complying. The mind set is vastly different between the two, and chances are we’ll see a lot less rebellion in teenagers and adults alike when they eventually grow old enough to be immune to the threats of their parents and teachers if they don’t do what is expected of them. 

  • Question: OCD With Personal Hygiene

    Aslmkm brother, your wife had actually led me to your ask box. I was wondering if you can tell me anything or any way to help my sister who has severe ocd to the point she cannot use her bar of soap more than once or touch her own mother. She will not see a doctor even though my parents have suggested it, and uses a lot of money buying cleaning supplies as she won’t listen to us and my parents are too kind to refuse. We all feel helpless and she is too sensitive to have a discussion with.

    Wa Alaykumussalaam,

    I had a brief discussion with my wife about this. I’ll try to help as far as possible, even if only to offer some insight into what might be driving her behaviour so that we can understand what the real issue is, Insha-Allah.

    From past experiences similar to this, I’ve found that it’s almost always related to a severe insecurity that was triggered by a significant event. That sounds quite cryptic, but I guess the process we need to go through is to try to understand what was happening around the time that this behaviour first became problematic.

    I get the sense that she’s afraid of something, and what she’s demonstrating in her behaviour is really just a symptom of her expressing that fear in a very disruptive manner. So try to see her behaviour as a symptom rather than the problem itself. There’s another more concerning possibility that may be driving her behaviour, but it’s really premature for me to suggest it at this point, so I would prefer if we could discuss this in more detail via email before I say anything else.

    You can rest assured that everything will remain confidential from my side, but trying to have a meaningful discussion via the horrible Tumblr Ask box would be very difficult. My email address is on my homepage. I look forward to hearing from you further, Insha-Allah.

  • Choices

    The brain numbing effects of medication is scary. Ever since I took a mood stabiliser and an anti-depressant a few years ago, I’ve been hyper-sensitive to side effects in other medication that may have the slightest influence on moods or anxiety levels. The knee jerk reaction of most people that I mention this to is to suggest that the symptoms are entirely psychosomatic. However, they’re wrong every time because they say that on the assumption that I read the insert of the medication before taking it. I don’t. I usually take the medication, then observe the changes in my moods and behaviours (I’m weird like that) and then, if I can’t explain the changes, I go searching for answers. 

    This week I’ve been in bed with a combination of the flu, pharyngitis and a touch of bronchitis. The previous time this happened, the anti-biotic that was prescribed for me by my doctor caused me to get really aggressive and short-tempered. I only realised it after three days had passed, at which point I promptly reviewed the side-effects, honed in on the potential impact, and discontinued the anti-biotic (against my doctor’s advice since you are required to complete the course once started), and within a day or two, I felt my normal self again.

    This week, a different anti-biotic was prescribed, and on the first night that I took it, I had graphic nightmares and woke up almost every hour on the hour, or in between as well, with the nightmares continuing like a sequel each time I fell asleep. This was highly unusual for me. Again, against the advice of my doctor, I discontinued the course of anti-biotics and requested an alternative. The alternative is much better and the side-effects have been much more bearable. 

    When I share my views about depression and mood altering medication, I’m speaking from first hand experience, and never conjecture. The reasons I took those meds to begin with are anything but ordinary, so you would most likely be horribly mistaken if you tried to guess what it was. The effects of the medication this week is still wearing off, with the current course of anti-biotics set to run for a few more days. 

    This seems like a really pointless post, but there’s an uneasiness that I feel when I consider how lightly or readily most people take medication without any concern for the lasting impact it has on their health. I’m not the healthiest person around, but given some of my life’s experiences, more than one doctor expressed surprise at the fact that I have not had a major life event yet (that’s doctor speak for a heart attack, or something worse). The point is, we need to live consciously. Most people don’t. Most of the time we’re so focused on fitting in and conforming that we forget to think about what is or isn’t good for us. It’s the common herd mentality. Try to suggest that the herd is wrong, and I guess my recent abrasive discussions on Tumblr with some sheep clearly demonstrates what happens. You get bullied and maligned until you conform. I choose not to conform because I see how pathetic conformance makes others. 

    I guess this is just a really long-winded plea for people to start taking themselves more seriously. Rather than accepting whatever criticisms you get from others, spend time reflecting on your own principles, motivations and merits that drive you to be who you are. If the criticism confirms that, and you’re comfortable that that is who you choose to be, then great. You’re on the right track, even if it means that you’re the odd one out. If you compromise your principles in the hope of being more socially acceptable, you will, not maybe, not likely, but definitely will be setting yourself up for a whole lot of pain. 

    Our past only rules our hearts and minds as long as we’re oblivious to the fact that it is in fact the past. 

  • Question – Repeat after me:

    purplechansey:

    cynicallyjaded:

    dionthesocialist:

    • Mental disorders are medical conditions.
    • Mental disorders are not personality quirks.

    Repeat after me…

    • Labels will give you mental disorders
    • Labels will reinforce your submission to a condition 
    • Labels will destroy you
    • Labels will imprison you
    • Labels are just that…labels

    Now, let’s try again…

    • Stop labelling your state of mind, it’s the same as stereotyping someone and expecting them to act differently
    • The more we ‘recognise’ so-called mental disorders as valid medical conditions, the weaker society becomes in dealing holistically with social ills because every bad experience can suddenly be ‘fixed’ with a pill
    • Neuroplasticity is proof that mental ‘disorders’ are merely a state of mind that can be altered based on experience and introspection
    • Experience has confirmed that insecurity and fears of insignificance are the most common underlying causes of symptoms of a troubled mind (a.k.a. mental disorders) and not some chemical imbalance
    • Chemical reactions are triggered by thoughts and stimuli, not the other way around. Simple proof of this is a smile. It’s confirmed to release feel-good hormones regardless of your ‘mental disorder’

    Separate the symptoms from the root cause and never confuse the two. Far too often, especially in western medicine, symptoms are almost always the focus of treatment with a holistic view shunned as being a quack’s approach to good health. The mind and body work in tandem, and not independently. Abuse one, and you’ll automatically abuse the other. Treating a physical ailment without considering the psychological or emotional triggers that caused one to be predisposed to the ailment is like taking energy drinks when you know you’re not getting enough sleep. It really is that simple.

    Give yourself a chance. You deserve to believe in yourself, because people are strange like that. They rarely believe in you unless you believe in yourself first. Think about it, and give yourself a break.

    I definitely understand where you’re coming from, but there are a couple of points in which I take issue with.

    “Neuroplasticity is proof that mental ‘disorders’ are merely a state of mind that can be altered based on experience and introspection.”

    Not necessarily. Yes, neuroplasticity has shown that the brain changes through various stages of life (and through various personal experiences), but that does not necessarily imply that mental disorders are all of a sudden reduced to nothing but “bad thoughts that can altered.” There is no denying that some mental disorders (I will get to why I italicized mental disorders and some in a bit) are indeed a chemical imbalance in the brain. Hence, why some truly need medication, and why it works for them. Where I do agree with you (or at least agree with what I suppose you’re getting at) is that medications are far overused, over-perscribed, and that a lot of what we have going on as “mental disorders” aren’t really mental disorders.

    Yes, many of them should be treated by psychotherapy instead of just popping a pill. Unfortunately, that takes much longer in the doctor’s office, so they just write them off a prescription (or four) and call it a day. Also, I agree with what you have to say when it comes to labels. Some of what is labeled under mental disorders by the DSM IV I wouldn’t necessarily want to call a mental disorder. Labels do suck, and indeed, they hold you back. Thing is, chemical imbalances do exist. They are very much a possible cause in the cases of some mental disorders. Schizophrenia being a fine example of that. And while yes, some chemical reactions are triggered by certain thoughts, experiences, and stimuli, do not forget the many that are genetically predisposed or more prone to developing such disorders. 

    Thanks for sharing those views. I agree with you on most of what you say with just one qualifier. I mentioned in previous posts, under the link that I included previously, that medication is definitely warranted as an intervention strategy. I just get really concerned when I hear people saying that they’re predisposed to depression and have been told that they will have to take anti-depressants for the rest of their lives. 

    That’s the level of abuse that we’ve come to because of the labelling of life’s struggles by suggesting that they’re in fact illnesses. They’re not. Like everything in life, there are exceptions, but the current trend is that anything that goes against the utopian ideal of a balanced life is somehow not the individual’s faults because they probably have a chemical imbalance causing them to behave irrationally, aggressively, or otherwise. 

  • Question – Repeat after me:

    storyseldomtold replied to your post: Do you have a medical background or scientific references to prove that mental illnesses are just “a state of mind” with no effects in the brain?

    The biggest issue in your methodology of deriving conclusions is the use of first-hand experiences, which is by definition, subjective and biased. Alaos, babies and infants do have depression and deficits, in case you wanted to research that.

    I think you’re being selective in what you read in my response. I said that my views are based on multiple things, including extensive research, views held by holistic healing alternatives, as well as personal experience. You can read more about my views and experiences on this subject by clicking here.

    The argument about whether or not a baby has depression is as flawed as the approach to looking at the chemical make up to determine the state of mind of an adult or teenager. The problem with that approach is that it assumes that the premise that chemicals influence moods and not the other way around is in fact accurate. That is where I disagree with the approach to mental health according to modern interpretations of the supposed cause and effect.

    The fact that I can actively influence my physical state proves that my thought patterns and resolve to act are primarily responsible for my physical condition. Ask a suicidal person why they’re suicidal (suicide relating to cultural practices excluded) and chances are you’ll find that they refuse to hope for something positive due to a massive disappointment or betrayal in their past. Our destructive behavioural patterns are almost always rooted in wanting to protect ourselves from a situation that gave rise to pain previously. However, we’re prone, as proven by this discussion, to focus on the symptoms, that’s why we tend to forget why we set down that path of self destruction to begin with. 

    What makes it all seem more confusing is the fact that such negative pre-emptive action on our part is usually seen as inherently destructive rather than being seen as a means to prevent something from occurring. That ‘something’ is usually a situation that will bring us happiness or joy, and the reason we prevent ourselves from achieving such a state is because of the risk of betrayal or disappointment that could potentially result from such a situation based on past experiences. So instead of learning how to deal with the betrayal or abandonment more effectively, which usually requires a healthy self esteem, we focus on controlling what we can control, which is our ability to sabotage such situations so that the position of joy and happiness is never achieved. 

    Only once we overcome the deep seated doubts relating to a poor self esteem are we able to see positivity where a negative outcome is always a possibility. Hence my view that the greatest gift any parent can give to their child is that of a healthy self esteem before anything else. Ever see someone with a healthy self esteem turn to drugs, or violence, or worse? Neither have I. 

  • Do you have a medical background or scientific references to prove that mental illnesses are just "a state of mind" with no effects in the brain?

    I guess this question was bound to come up. I’m not sure how it’s intended or from what perspective you’re asking this. 

    The short answer is, no. I don’t have a medical background, but all the information I share on the subject is supported by numerous research efforts, holistic healing methods that challenge mainstream medicine, and also importantly, direct personal experiences with individuals that were diagnosed with numerous extremely severe cases of ‘mental disorders’ from bipolar, to schizophrenia, to borderline personality disorder, along with living through the various treatment regiments and real life dysfunction that went with it.

    So I guess all I can say is that I can assure you that my views are not reckless conjecture, nor are they theoretical. They’re based on real life first hand experience as well as many years of researching the issues surrounding this subject out of a need to be able to understand the circumstances that I was exposed to through other individuals around me that were extremely troubled.

    My normal tongue-in-cheek view about this is usually, show me a depressed baby and I’ll reconsider my views about the relationship between chemical balances and emotional states. However, on a relatively continuous basis, my views have been tested and proven to be true with many people that were formally and repeatedly diagnosed as having severe chemical imbalances that suggested that they would be bound to intense medical treatment for the rest of their lives. After discussing the issues with them using the same ‘logic’ that I suggested in my previous post, they emerged from their ‘mental disorder’ and acknowledged that the underlying causes were entirely based on insecurities that stemmed from intense betrayal that they experienced in some form or another earlier in life, often without them realising it. 

    I hope that answers your question.

    P.S. I am NOT giving anyone medical advice. I’m simply suggesting that a fresh perspective could bring massive relief to what could otherwise be a really traumatic life. 

  • Question: Depression

    cynicallyjade:

    thefemaleedward:

    People who think depression is a choice, take a second to think. How would it feel to wake up and not having the emotional strength to face people? To think that time is just passing by with no real reason? To feel so alone even when you are sitting…

    Unfortunately you’ve missed the entire point of my post. Having been ‘diagnosed’ with depression before, I’m hardly what you could label as someone that is insensitive to people that are depressed. If I said that depression is all in your mind and that you’re simply missing the point of life, then by all means accuse me of insensitivity. But if you read carefully, you’ll note that I challenge the common perspective on what depression is rather than dismissing the fact that it exists. So to reiterate my point, depression is a symptom and not an illness. The root cause of depression lies in our choices based on our expectations of others and life in general. Change your choices and your expectations and the symptom of depression will dissipate without any direct effort required. Trying to deal with depression is like asking an exhausted person not to feel tired. That’s simply ridiculous. Instead, you would ask them to exercise more, eat healthier and most obviously get more rest. Exhaustion would therefore be the symptoms of poor lifestyle choices, wouldn’t it?

    White teethed teens: cynicallyjade: thefemaleedward: People who think depression is a…

  • The Fruit of Betrayal

    Betrayal seems to be at the heart of 95% of all cases of mental ‘illness’. When I reflect on my life, especially the low points in my life, betrayal in some form or another was the driving force behind me not wanting to go on. But this betrayal was not always blatant, nor was it always a result of a romantic relationship. 

    Being betrayed by someone you love as a soul mate or companion in life just simply makes you want to kill, or die, or kill first and then die! But so often we seek affirmation from our partners to make up for the insecurities established in ourselves through interactions with a much broader audience of significant others, that I believe betrayal by a lover or partner is so much more hurtful and destructive, because we expose our fragility that much more. 

    But more often than not, the betrayal that is likely to set the wheels in motion for a healthy dose of mental ‘illness’ is experienced much earlier in life. Sometimes, I believe, it’s as early as when we’re still toddlers just growing into our conscious states. I often test my rationale around this by observing babies because that is the most innocent and sincere state any person can ever be in. They act purely out of instinct and respond entirely based on their inherent nature without having been tainted by life yet. While they may be selective about who they allow to cuddle them and comfort them, they nonetheless respond to those affections without restraint. But when they are shunned in deliberate ways by the care givers that they naturally expect such affection from, it starts building the sub-conscious processes required to protect themselves from such harshness which eventually manifests as defence mechanisms or survival instincts. The more the pattern is maintained throughout childhood and into adolescence, the more deeply ingrained this sense of emotional starvation becomes. 

    I think that the earlier in life that these experiences occur, the greater the chances are for teenagers and adults to be diagnosed with mental illnesses that seemingly have no direct correlation to their life’s experiences. For this reason, I believe that reflection and honest, sincere introspection is the greatest weapon we can employ in avoiding such a pitfall. But society seems to enforce the idea that unless you’re affirmed by others, you’re wrong or worthless. So in this process of reflection, we judge ourselves based on our perception of what is or is not appreciated by others and use that as a benchmark against which to determine our self-worth. 

    (Just some random thoughts I needed to write down)