Tag: health

  • Born Restless

    The only constant emotion that I can recall in my life is restlessness. Perhaps it’s a state more than it is an emotion. I don’t care. The net effect remains the same. There is little that I can leave untouched. I have an incessant need to unravel issues that plague myself or others. I can’t let sleeping dogs lie (all puns intended). There are too many dogs that pretend to be asleep and in so doing they lie through their fangs in their efforts to garner social acceptance or admiration. They’re dogs, regardless of their pretenses.

    The heart of mental illnesses lies in society, and not in the brain. There is no chemical imbalance that can be righted in order for it to right the betrayals of society at large, and significant others at the least. So instead of contending with the elephant in the room, we’d much rather pretend that we have a mental illness to deal with. At times like this I feel mentally ill. The same restlessness creeps into every thought pattern and disrupts my focus leading to angsty drivel that aspires to become a meaningful post. But I know that this restlessness is not an illness. It’s simply the reality of my attempts to live consciously.

    We’re all alone. No matter how big our social circles may appear, deep down inside only we understand the gravity of being who we are, and what we fear. The social circles are just a distraction from this reality, but in no way erases that loneliness. It’s all just a distraction, but it’s a very effective distraction which is why we’re amusing ourselves to death, only to realise too late that we were in fact distracting ourselves from life. It’s therefore no surprise that avenues like social networking and technical gadgetry are increasingly popular to all generations and not just the young ‘uns any longer. We all need the distractions equally.

    The problem is not in the distractions, or how they’re being abused. Those are just symptoms. The true problem is in a society that sees the need for escape as being a mental illness. The problem lies in academics that lack any real life experiences but feel accomplished enough because of a piece of paper to pronounce their judgement on the mental state of others without even considering the reality of life. That’s why we have the ridiculously high levels of bipolar disorder that is diagnosed in all spectrums of society, let alone depression and so many other abused terms of mental illness.

    In a dysfunctional society it’s next to impossible to find a healthy support structure to avoid the temptation of labelling our mental states. Support structures are not synonymous with support groups, but are in fact the family structures and community networks that talk to the village raising a kid, rather than the village raising an idiot. The collective responsibility of society has long been abandoned in favour of individual appeasement and selfish goals.

    The restlessness I feel is born out of this same dysfunction. But according to many, I could successfully be diagnosed with a mental illness because I have an insatiable desire to see wholesome values and communal living that is morally grounded realised in my lifetime. Perhaps I am mad. Perhaps my restlessness is in fact insanity. Perhaps my desire for old school values is merely my distraction from a society that has evolved beyond such wholesomeness. Perhaps I am that sane man that is compared to an insane society, and because the mirror with which I reflect on my life is that insane society, it is entirely possible that I may appear insane. Worse than this is the innocent soul that lacks such a realisation and still seeks affirmation from that same insane society.

  • That Hyper Acidity Demon

    I’ve been struggling with hyper-acidity for a few years now. Like most illnesses, I prefer to take the holistic approach to addressing it rather than the instant gratification approach that calls for pills and reckless abandon in modern medicine. So over the years, I observed various tendencies within myself that seem to trigger the acidity spikes that often feel like a butcher’s hook has been inserted in my abdomen from below and is being pulled downwards with enough force that threatens to disembowel me. So I thought I’d share a few pointers about what has and hasn’t worked for me.

    Early on, I visited the doctor to identify the cause of the pain in my stomach. They immediately suspected an ulcer and promptly placed me on medication for this. So I received a standard dose of Nexium and was given some Gaviscon to go with it. It didn’t work. So I went back to the doctor to see what could be the problem. This time, because of the intensity of the pain and discomfort (tmi warning) and because of the fact that my stool was starting to get a mucose texture to it, I was given a double dose of antibiotics (i.e. two different antibiotics simultaneously) over a two week period, including a double dose of Nexium for a month. It didn’t work. The next step suggested by the doctor was a gastroscopy. The idea of having a tube shoved down my throat didn’t appeal to me, so I politely declined and set out trying to understand this issue more holistically.

    After a chance meeting with an iridologist at a local pharmacy, I discovered a homoeopathic tea that relieved the symptoms within 2 or 3 days, literally! Unfortunately, as fate would have it, that pharmacy closed down and the tea that was made as a family remedy by that lady disappeared along with it. But I recalled seeing that fennel was one of the active ingredients in that tea, so I got myself some fennel tea to try to deal with the discomfort of the acidity. I also came across a book by Louise L. Hay that provides insights into the association between emotional or mental state, and our physical state. This suggested that acidity was caused by an excessive need to please others. It made perfect sense because at the time, I was going through an absolutely troubling time in my marriage, which affected my work performance, which left me desperately trying to appease both my wife, my boss, and my colleagues at the same time. However, I just saw it as stress before that point, but after reading what Louise had to say, I narrowed it down to that effort to appease. Also worth noting is that with the stress, my caffeine intake increased substantially because I was struggling to sleep and needed an energy boost more often than not. So energy drinks and filtered coffee became my staple diet which only made matters worse.

    So I started adjusting my mindset to get more perspective on what was happening. I realised that trying to appease was never sustainable, so I started accepting my limitations in pleasing others or meeting their expectations, and slowly but surely it reduced the intensity of the acidity. But the damage had been done, so I was now predisposed to hyper-acidity because my love for orange juice suddenly became my worst enemy.

    To cut a long story short, after many years of finding ways to deal with hyper-acidity without invasive medical treatment, I’ve found that the following works well for me.

    1. Having peanut butter on toast with tea. For some reason, I’ve found that the caffeine in tea doesn’t affect my acidity, whereas coffee nails it almost immediately. Drinking filter coffee is like committing harakiri.
    2. I’m using a probiotic called Probiflora with 4 strains of bacteria. There’s one with 9 strains as well, but I’m hoping I’ll never need that one. It seems to help neutralise the stomach acids by just taking one each day as needed.
    3. I completely avoid Gaviscon and similar antacids. I do use fruit salts from time to time (a local brand called ENO works exceptionally well) which seems effective at alleviating the acid build up after an overly indulgent meal.
    4. Hyper-acidity usually makes me feel bloated and generally lethargic because of the other symptoms that it invokes, so I’ve found that taking a good (preferably natural) source of digestive enzymes usually helps alleviate the bloatedness as well.
    5. Fennel tea also works well, or rooibos tea, if you have access to that, to alleviate the bloated feeling that acidity causes. It’s particularly effective to maintain the health of your digestive system when under stress.
    6. I avoid sugar completely, and I avoid acidic fruit juices completely. The sugar is simply because after getting used to the taste of natural non-radiarised honey, I can’t stand the artificial sweetness that sugar offers.
    7. When my acid really spikes, I stay away from tomatoes, white flour products and cheeses, including acidic fruits like oranges, naartjies, pineapples and most berries, especially strawberries.
    8. Most importantly, I remind myself that my objective in life is not to please people, but simply to do right by them. If they’re not happy with me, and I’m being true to myself in the process, then I accept that I cannot make them happy and maintain as amicable a relationship as is warranted, or politely part ways if needed.

    I hope that helps, because I see many people suffering with massive discomfort from hyper-acidity these days, and more often than not, they’re either on chronic medication or insane diets which is even more difficult to stick to because hyper-acidity often makes me feel hungry more often than not, which results in horrible weight gain, which nails my self-image, which increases my stress levels and perpetuates that vicious cycle. Hopefully this post will spare someone the torment of that vicious cycle.

  • Another Anon but same OCD…

    I have to wash my hands sticf´tfully and sometime more than two times and it injures my skin. If I take a shower I don’t really feel the need to be strict with my body but my hands always have to be clean. Or if I feel like something that touched my pubic area(awra) I feel like crazy washing that part. I just feel very impure and non of my deeds will be accepted. And yes I am wasting so much soap. I don’t know you said find the reason and I tried – part 2;

    Continued…SO I thought about my past and I found out that I was masturbating without knowing that it is wrong. When I got a guilty feeling after some time after doing such stuff I told my mom and she got mad at me. And since then it is a BIG NO NO for me. And since I did it with my hands they got kind of “ugly and impure”. I never touched my down there even if it was for cleaning purpose I would wear gloves and what not. But I try to learn that my body isn’t something impure. I am a teenager now and I got a boyfriend, I regret it and I didn’t have sex or anything I broke up befor but he was very sexually, like his jokes and stuff. And I didn’t have the power to say stop it. But one day I did and blaah. But now I felt like because of my loneliness that I have to masturbate. I did it without knowing. It just happened. And I got a feeling and I was WTH was that. And I just did it till one told me that you have to do ghusl. Soo.. this plus my OCD is freaking me out. I am loosing my self trust I start to question everything. Did you reallllyy wash that part, did you wash your mouth did you do it 3 times. And it is just exhausting. So I kind of got addicted to masturbating but I have to take ghusl after it but I can’t. Actually I do now since I know but it is like going through hell. Why do I have to masturbate? I have to think on sexual stuff all the time. I can’t controle it anymore. I just don’t want to do anything else than sex… it’s so embarrassing I don’t know what to do

    Assalaamu Alaykum,

    For starters, I would set the labels aside. OCD, although it may be a fairly good description of the behavioural tendencies you’re feeling about cleaning yourself, has such a huge stigma attached to it that without realising it, you end up trying to deal with the stigma more than you’re dealing with the actual problem. The real issue is what is driving you to feel so dirty or impure, and secondly, why the need to pleasure yourself as often as you do.

     

    I’m not going to go into the issue of labels again, because I think I’ve debated it ad nauseum recently, so having said all that, I think you need to start by accepting that the past is the past. Whatever you did then is done and cannot be undone. So rather than reminding yourself about past mistakes, limit yourself to referring to the past only to explain present behaviour, but not to undermine what good you may have achieved since then. And more importantly, accept that your duas for forgiveness have been accepted and trust in Allah’s mercy. Doubts around that are only encouraged by Shaytaan because that’s his way of convincing you to feel helpless which makes you do things to distract yourself from the guilt or persist in what you’re doing because you don’t see the point in stopping.

    The positive thread through all of this is that you appear to be genuinely concerned about changing the behaviour that is proving to be destructive for you, so that’s a good starting point. The problem with attaching negative labels to yourself is that it makes you feel inherently unworthy. In your case, that appears to be triggering a vicious cycle because you feel dirty, you try to clean, you touch yourself to clean and then get drawn into pleasuring yourself, which results in the guilt, which results in you trying to clean yourself excessively, which is leading to physical harm to your skin, etc. The cycle needs to be broken, but that’s always easier said than done.

    The sense I’m getting is that there is a low self-worth underlying both issues, i.e. the ‘OCD’ as well as the masturbation. If you’re feeling disgusted about yourself for whatever reason, it would stand to reason then that you would not be able to imagine yourself as being attractive to anyone else (or at least not anyone that you would want to find you attractive), so automatically that would lead you sub-consciously to want to ‘take care of yourself’ since it’s unlikely that anyone else will want to take care of you that way. However, you’re also committed to your moral obligations, which leads to the guilt associated with doing what you’re doing, so that just adds to the vicious cycle.

    To break it, I think you need to consider a dual approach. Firstly, you need to identify what are the ideal circumstances under which you are able to masturbate without fear of being caught. You’ll probably be able to find some helpful ideas and information here about ways to break the habit. In fact, read through some of the posts relating to masturbation on that site and you’ll realise that firstly, you’re not alone in this, and secondly, it is possible to break the cycle.

    The problems you’re facing with excessively cleaning or washing yourself needs to be dealt with slightly differently. You’re doubting whether or not you cleaned a certain part of your body already, which suggests that there is again a lack of confidence or self-worth, hence you doubting yourself so easily; and secondly, you need to establish a fixed routine about how you go about bathing, or making ghusl. What I mean is, if you fix a routine that says that you’ll start with your hair, then wash your face, then your ears, then your arms, etc. and you ensure that you follow exactly that routine every single time, you’ll have less reason to wonder whether you cleaned a certain part already or not. Another option is to not rinse the soap off any part until you’re completely done. That way, if it’s still soapy, you know you already cleaned it.

    Insha-Allah as it becomes habit/routine, the confidence will improve and the self-doubt will decline, which will allow you to assume a more flexible routine around cleansing yourself. If you want to discuss this in more detail, please email me directly. You’ll find my email address on my homepage. I hope this helps, and please don’t hesitate to discuss this further with me or my wife, if you’ll feel more comfortable going into more detail with her.

    Insha-Allah you’ll overcome this and realise that your shortcomings do not define who you are, how you deal with them is what determines your character and your self-worth.

  • Question: OCD With Personal Hygiene

    Aslmkm brother, your wife had actually led me to your ask box. I was wondering if you can tell me anything or any way to help my sister who has severe ocd to the point she cannot use her bar of soap more than once or touch her own mother. She will not see a doctor even though my parents have suggested it, and uses a lot of money buying cleaning supplies as she won’t listen to us and my parents are too kind to refuse. We all feel helpless and she is too sensitive to have a discussion with.

    Wa Alaykumussalaam,

    I had a brief discussion with my wife about this. I’ll try to help as far as possible, even if only to offer some insight into what might be driving her behaviour so that we can understand what the real issue is, Insha-Allah.

    From past experiences similar to this, I’ve found that it’s almost always related to a severe insecurity that was triggered by a significant event. That sounds quite cryptic, but I guess the process we need to go through is to try to understand what was happening around the time that this behaviour first became problematic.

    I get the sense that she’s afraid of something, and what she’s demonstrating in her behaviour is really just a symptom of her expressing that fear in a very disruptive manner. So try to see her behaviour as a symptom rather than the problem itself. There’s another more concerning possibility that may be driving her behaviour, but it’s really premature for me to suggest it at this point, so I would prefer if we could discuss this in more detail via email before I say anything else.

    You can rest assured that everything will remain confidential from my side, but trying to have a meaningful discussion via the horrible Tumblr Ask box would be very difficult. My email address is on my homepage. I look forward to hearing from you further, Insha-Allah.

  • Question – Repeat after me:

    purplechansey:

    cynicallyjaded:

    dionthesocialist:

    • Mental disorders are medical conditions.
    • Mental disorders are not personality quirks.

    Repeat after me…

    • Labels will give you mental disorders
    • Labels will reinforce your submission to a condition 
    • Labels will destroy you
    • Labels will imprison you
    • Labels are just that…labels

    Now, let’s try again…

    • Stop labelling your state of mind, it’s the same as stereotyping someone and expecting them to act differently
    • The more we ‘recognise’ so-called mental disorders as valid medical conditions, the weaker society becomes in dealing holistically with social ills because every bad experience can suddenly be ‘fixed’ with a pill
    • Neuroplasticity is proof that mental ‘disorders’ are merely a state of mind that can be altered based on experience and introspection
    • Experience has confirmed that insecurity and fears of insignificance are the most common underlying causes of symptoms of a troubled mind (a.k.a. mental disorders) and not some chemical imbalance
    • Chemical reactions are triggered by thoughts and stimuli, not the other way around. Simple proof of this is a smile. It’s confirmed to release feel-good hormones regardless of your ‘mental disorder’

    Separate the symptoms from the root cause and never confuse the two. Far too often, especially in western medicine, symptoms are almost always the focus of treatment with a holistic view shunned as being a quack’s approach to good health. The mind and body work in tandem, and not independently. Abuse one, and you’ll automatically abuse the other. Treating a physical ailment without considering the psychological or emotional triggers that caused one to be predisposed to the ailment is like taking energy drinks when you know you’re not getting enough sleep. It really is that simple.

    Give yourself a chance. You deserve to believe in yourself, because people are strange like that. They rarely believe in you unless you believe in yourself first. Think about it, and give yourself a break.

    I definitely understand where you’re coming from, but there are a couple of points in which I take issue with.

    “Neuroplasticity is proof that mental ‘disorders’ are merely a state of mind that can be altered based on experience and introspection.”

    Not necessarily. Yes, neuroplasticity has shown that the brain changes through various stages of life (and through various personal experiences), but that does not necessarily imply that mental disorders are all of a sudden reduced to nothing but “bad thoughts that can altered.” There is no denying that some mental disorders (I will get to why I italicized mental disorders and some in a bit) are indeed a chemical imbalance in the brain. Hence, why some truly need medication, and why it works for them. Where I do agree with you (or at least agree with what I suppose you’re getting at) is that medications are far overused, over-perscribed, and that a lot of what we have going on as “mental disorders” aren’t really mental disorders.

    Yes, many of them should be treated by psychotherapy instead of just popping a pill. Unfortunately, that takes much longer in the doctor’s office, so they just write them off a prescription (or four) and call it a day. Also, I agree with what you have to say when it comes to labels. Some of what is labeled under mental disorders by the DSM IV I wouldn’t necessarily want to call a mental disorder. Labels do suck, and indeed, they hold you back. Thing is, chemical imbalances do exist. They are very much a possible cause in the cases of some mental disorders. Schizophrenia being a fine example of that. And while yes, some chemical reactions are triggered by certain thoughts, experiences, and stimuli, do not forget the many that are genetically predisposed or more prone to developing such disorders. 

    Thanks for sharing those views. I agree with you on most of what you say with just one qualifier. I mentioned in previous posts, under the link that I included previously, that medication is definitely warranted as an intervention strategy. I just get really concerned when I hear people saying that they’re predisposed to depression and have been told that they will have to take anti-depressants for the rest of their lives. 

    That’s the level of abuse that we’ve come to because of the labelling of life’s struggles by suggesting that they’re in fact illnesses. They’re not. Like everything in life, there are exceptions, but the current trend is that anything that goes against the utopian ideal of a balanced life is somehow not the individual’s faults because they probably have a chemical imbalance causing them to behave irrationally, aggressively, or otherwise. 

  • Only an old man appreciates the value of youth
    Only a person afflicted with calamity can truly appreciate being free of troubles
    Only the sick appreciate health
    Only the dead appreciate life

    Islamic wisdom (via cynicallyjaded)

  • Only an old man appreciates the value of youth
    Only a person afflicted with calamity can truly appreciate being free of troubles
    Only the sick appreciate health
    Only the dead appreciate life

    Islamic wisdom