I pray that you never will understand some of what I’m going through, some of what I feel, or some of what I think…because to understand you would need to experience what I’ve experienced. And I wouldn’t want you to feel the pain and the anguish that I’ve felt that made me feel, see and think the way I do. Although it’s the same pain and anguish that has given me this appreciation for life, for a smile on a stranger’s face, or for the chirping of the birds. My wish is for you to learn from my experiences and the experiences of others because there’s so much more to life than the opportunity to make your own mistakes.
The only way you can cheat time is to learn from the accumulated wisdom of generations past. But if you insist on learning it all yourself, know that you’ll never learn more than anyone who has lived only a single lifetime without any wisdom to draw on. Know that your pain and your anguish will be unnecessary, and know that your life would only ever be half-lived, if even that. So instead I pray that you are able to cheat time, acquire a wisdom beyond what you may inherit, and give your children more than what you had to cheat time with. And if you do this, know that you have achieved more than any human being can be expected to achieve in a single lifetime. This is the only path to immortality that I know.
Tag: appreciation
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To my daughters…
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Astral Travelling
I want to astral travel. It’s something that has fascinated me all my life, and for some reason I was reminded about it again tonight. But my mind is always racing these days, so I’ll never be able to achieve the meditative state that will make it possible. But I want to do it really badly. This physical form just doesn’t hold much appeal for me any longer.
I want to be able to voluntarily step outside of my body and observe the world through untethered eyes. I want to see how truly enslaved we are by our physical form so that I can appreciate every vision that I behold of spaces I’ll never be able to fill. I don’t just want to dream. I want to will myself to travel through the earth without boundaries, or limitations in movement or passage. I want to liberate my spirit from my physical form so that I can immerse myself into the beauty of the physical form.
It’s always in the absence of something that it is appreciated, and perhaps the same will be true for my body. I’m not unappreciative for my health and my physical abilities. I consider myself blessed in every way. But this will give me an insight and appreciation that would otherwise not be possible. I want to rise above myself, deliberately and consciously. But not permanently, just yet.
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Gratitude is not simply a state of mind
Gratitude is not simply a state of mind, but rather a state of being. Appreciating someone but restraining yourself from openly expressing it, verbally or otherwise, is of no use to them, and only sows the seeds of selfishness in your own heart. True appreciation would result in a willingness to acknowledge the impact that someone else’s efforts or contribution has on your life. Anything less cannot be appreciation. If we are willing to consume, then we must also be willing to contribute as well. Otherwise we introduce an imbalance in our lives that can never lead to healthy relationships. Don’t let your fear of allowing significant others into your personal space result in the destruction of beauty in your life.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
John F. Kennedy
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A Wasted Life
A wasted life, for me, is not about not being able to influence others, or not changing the world…it’s a life spent not feeling truly appreciated. I could do whatever the hell I please, with the intensity of passion that escapes most, and with the insight and wisdom that could silence the sages…but if I don’t feel appreciated in the process, it would amount to sweet nothing for me…whether or not others take from it and enrich their lives in the process will do nothing for the void in mine if the appreciation that I need is never felt. That would be a wasted life for me…and this is why so often my life feels wasted…desolate…empty…bare…
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To my daughter…
I pray that you never will understand some of what I’m going through, some of what I feel, or some of what I think…because to understand you would need to experience what I’ve experienced. And I wouldn’t want you to feel the pain and the anguish that I’ve felt that made me feel, see and think the way I do. Although it’s the same pain and anguish that has given me this appreciation for life, for a smile on a stranger’s face, or for the chirping of the birds. My wish is for you to learn from my experiences and the experiences of others because there’s so much more to life than the opportunity to make your own mistakes.
The only way you can cheat time is to learn from the accumulated wisdom of generations past. But if you insist on learning it all yourself, know that you’ll never learn more than anyone who has lived only a single lifetime without any wisdom to draw on. Know that your pain and your anguish will be unnecessary, and know that your life would only ever be half-lived, if even that. So instead I pray that you are able to cheat time, acquire a wisdom beyond what you may inherit, and give your children more than what you had to cheat time with. And if you do this, know that you have achieved more than any human being can be expected to achieve in a single lifetime. This is the only path to immortality that I know.
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Creative Exercise
Put your mouth on my eyelids and kiss me where I’ve been blessed. Bless me, bless you
darling
said goodbye last night. He meant to leave before the sun rose, but he just stood in the doorway not ready to
forget
me, forget you. The thing is, we can’t forget and that’s the curse we carry as
humans
we’re designed with a purpose. What is this purpose? Well, we’ve forgotten over time.. Oh wait I just said we can’t forget; Humans too are full of
contradictions
fall like dandruff from your hair, time and time again, as your fingers snap to the cheery beats and your eyes sob for your
sorrow
left us dry and with no rain, left us basking in our shame, baking, blistered by our
pain
bleeds, but that blood soon scabs and when it’s dry and bitter you can flake it right
off
on, off, on, off. The light switch gets sick. I like it better with the lights
on
my skin, the flesh of a womb, you cum so happily
content
is something I’ve found that I pray to God I never lose. I pray to God I still find
fulfillment
is a prism shaped word that sits charming and dazzling on the imagination of my
tongue
tasting, I long to taste the flavor, and when I do I’ll smile, full.
