Tag: selfless love

  • Suicide of a Romantic

    What is it that stops us from affirming others while they’re alive, as opposed to waiting for their demise before singing their praises? Perhaps we’re afraid of being held accountable for our kind thoughts which denies us that ever convenient exit of ‘I knew it’ or ‘I told you so’ or ‘I should’ve known better’? Or maybe we lack the belief in our own virtues and would rather not have people peering so closely that they may see in us what we despise about ourselves?

    Maybe it’s just that we’re so afraid of being hurt, that we’ll do anything to prevent others from getting too close, so that we don’t ever give them a view of how much they mean to us? That would give them far too much power to hurt or manipulate us. So instead, we create our defenses and do it so well that we end up believing that how we present ourselves to others is all we have to offer.

    Heaven forbid we should live a romantic life. It is possible you know. To live a romantic life and still remain functional and practical about all life’s challenges. But it’s easier to fit in with the jaded crowds than to be true to ourselves, because the risk of failure is too great a source for potential embarrassment. POTENTIAL embarrassment. But the reality of the joy that we’ll experience if we lived romantically now will forever escape us because of our fear of embracing what we desire, lest it be stripped away from us in an untimely fashion.

    So we set ourselves up for heartache and failure, all the while pretending to be comforted by our superficial success in worldly endeavours, ensuring that not another living soul will ever see the romantic fool in us for fear of being mocked or ridiculed for that which is closest to our hearts. So fear drives us to suppress the romance, and embellish the facade so that it becomes the reality of our existence, when in fact it’s the reality of our deception. Sad, isn’t it?

  • I’m Thankful…or am I?

    Gratitude is not simply a state of mind, but rather a state of being. Appreciating someone but restraining yourself from openly expressing it, verbally or otherwise, is of no use to them, and only sows the seeds of selfishness in your own heart. True appreciation would result in a willingness to acknowledge the impact that someone else’s efforts or contribution has on your life. Anything less cannot be appreciation. If we are willing to consume, then we must also be willing to contribute as well. Otherwise we introduce an imbalance in our lives that can never lead to healthy relationships. Don’t let your fear of allowing significant others into your personal space result in the destruction of beauty in your life.

  • Selfless Love

    Does it exist? Is it even possible? When faced with the harrowing thought of having a loved one exposed to a real and present danger, it’s instinctive to want to just jump right in and save them. But what happens when that person is so deep into it that they themselves don’t even realise anymore that they’re in it? Is that the point at which your love for them is tested the most? Is it then that you’ll probably be faced with the difficult decision to make about whether or not you jump in to save them, or at least die trying?

    I’ve often wondered what drives this type of behaviour. Is there really something like a selfless action? The cynic in me suggests not, but the romantic in me is reminded of the movie ‘What Dreams May Come’ with Robin Williams and Annabella Sciora. But back to the cynic in me. Despite our best intentions, it’s always our deeper self that drives our actions. So what may appear on the surface as a selfless act, is in fact a selfish act because either way, if we’re not doing it for our own benefit, then we’re doing it because of our conscience. If it doesn’t affect our conscience and we have no benefit to be gained from it, then what would be our motivation to act on it?

    So whether we do something to please our friends, family or partners, it’s either motivated by guilt, love or a conscience, but always selfishly motivated, even though that selfishness is not always good or healthy for us. We act out of duty rather than conviction when the guilty martyr in us triumphs over our courage to be true to ourselves and just to our souls.