When people tell me that I deserve to be happy, I just smile and say nothing…because I know they’re talking shit. Whatever I deserve, I have.
Cynically Jaded
Tag: philosophy
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Sometimes, all you can do is brace yourself for the incoming storm.
And sometimes, despite your best efforts, you’ll still run aground.
Sometimes, the tide will come in and lift you up.
And sometimes, you’ll be so tired that you’ll want to stay put.
Regardless of your needs, your wants, your desires, or your pleas,
the storm will not abate…until you’re done.
(Stranded ship in Cape Town – (c) Cynically Jaded)
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Elusive
If the inevitability of death merely heralds the inevitability of eternity, then I must ask myself, “What do I want from eternity?”
More than happiness,
more than comfort,
I want peace.
Not peace in knowing that I have everything I need,
or everything I want,
but peace in not needing anything or wanting anything…
no contention, no yearning, no expectations.
Just the absence of clutter,
the absence of noise,
the absence of unfulfilled expectations,
and more than anything, the absence of needing to trust.
Instead, the presence of silence without a need to break it.
No needs, no wants, no desires, no anything,
just…peace.
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Take me home
We buried my aunt last night. We weren’t very close, but she was a nice lady. She passed on in the afternoon, and we buried her by 22h00 the same evening in line with Muslim rites and customs. But like every funeral, I embraced the scent of camphor, probably more so than most would. We use camphor as an embalming agent to prepare the corpse for burial. So it’s always been a sobering reminder of the inevitable outcome of everything.
Sobering! That was the lingering feeling that stayed with me throughout last night, and today. And it lingers still. At times in my life I often visited the cemetery alone on cold nights. Sometimes, if not always, I felt a sense of belonging, probably from the knowledge that that will be the final abode despite our best efforts to prolong our avoidance of it. Last night was different.
Last night I made a feeble attempt to reflect on the sight of thousands of graves with their flaking lime-washed surrounds and the lives that were distilled into that piece of earth that didn’t care about their riches, their comforts, their legacies or their significance amongst men. It was cold to the touch, and lifeless. And the sense of belonging, or even yearning, escaped me. I felt dejected, not just in my own life any longer, but last night I felt dejected from the after life. Nothing offered me comfort or certainty, let alone peace.
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The Purpose of Life
To be available to those that have a need to benefit from the resources that you have at your disposal so that their life’s trials may be lightened by the burdens of your own. Your ability to dispense of these benefits in a magnanimous and selfless manner is directly proportional to the perceived level of dignity and respect by which you’ll be addressed or received. Forming symbiotic relationships with those that have resources that serve your needs proportional to the resources you have to serve their needs is what would tend towards a healthy exchange of benefits and trials leading to procreation within the confines of wedlock…that’s of course only if you choose to maintain your dignity in the process. If not, it will lead to procreation out of wedlock, or perhaps no possibility of procreation at all if your choice is an unnatural relationship.
So in a nutshell, using and being used if done with dignity and respect, will lead to an honourable and happy life. Maybe.
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Hypocrisy Perfected
They say that the fear of ridicule breeds the most repugnant of cowards. So then the most repugnant of cowards must surely breed the most despicable of hypocrites. And hypocrites by definition cannot be happy or fulfilled people. There’s a fine line between being selfish enough to sustain our own soul’s desires, and sacrificing enough to selflessly contribute to the life experiences of others. Being human lies somewhere between being a narcissist and a martyr. And hypocrisy has no part to play at all.
They say that the fear of ridicule breeds the most repugnant of cowards. So then the most repugnant of cowards must surely breed the most despicable of hypocrites. And hypocrites by definition cannot be happy or fulfilled people.