What goes around comes around…only when it comes around, it comes around twice as hard.
(Source: http://soulhunting.tumblr.com)
Category: Uncategorized
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We make each other lonely, and then despise each other for seeming desperate! We take each other for granted and then feel self-pity for being taken for granted! The stupidity of it all! All seated in pride and arrogance. Our belief that we’re justified in feeling deserving but others should stop moaning and be more grateful!
The noise…the noise…the emptiness and the insanity…
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What's your real name? How old are you? Are you a girl or a boy?
Erm, how about you first come off anon, and then get personal! 🙂 What does any of that matter anyway? Whether I’m young or old, boy or girl, what difference does it make to the views I present? You either relate or not, appreciate or not…the source shouldn’t matter, should it?
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Do you ever look at yourself?
Do you ever look at yourself endearingly? At least long enough until you realise that you need to dismiss your thoughts because it sets fire to a desire to want to be consumed, physically and emotionally…but more physically? Ever look at yourself endearingly and wish that someone would see you through your own eyes, instead of theirs? Do you ever wish that someone would want you to give them what you so much yearn to give of yourself? Do you sometimes block out the noise, let go of the inhibitions, close your eyes and see yourself as beautiful?
Or is narcissism a prerequisite for such acceptance of self? I sometimes focus so much on trying to understand or appreciate how others see me, that I fail to notice myself. I look at myself so often through the eyes of others that I eventually find myself looking at myself through the same jaundiced view that is tainted with their broken dreams. I make myself the victim of their disappointments simply because I allow myself to be viewed with the defensive cynicism that life has taught them.
This is how I lost myself to the world, and now I wait to be found because my insecurity won’t allow me to believe in me unless another tainted soul believes in me first.
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Census
All these years I thought you were alone, but now,
laid open, it is clear two lost stars are burning into you.One keeps distant memories, art and travel, intimacy
echoed in a longing no longer yours to claim.The other is your nature in your time. Its heart is carnal,
quick, uneasy, its need to love and fear in drowning waves,and that silence you have carried like a dead limb all your life.
This reminds me of her…indeed the fear not to express the truth that lurks beneath is heavier than a dead limb…it must be…I can’t think of anything else that would drag someone so low that they would oppose every principle and every stated aspiration that they hold dear without reason or apparent motivation. Silence is far greater a destroyer of souls than any harsh words that could be uttered.
