Category: Leadership

  • Filled to the Brim

    Given my recent overload of pressure and work at the office, I found myself facing the realisation of what determines my capacity to deal with what is thrown at me each day. I found myself having conversations in my head about how I’ve had enough, how I’m not willing to put up with the crap any longer, and how this is all pointless. However, I couldn’t fend off this nagging feeling that that was just me setting limitations for myself. I was determining when it was enough, often long before it really was.

    There is a physical limitation that is also breached at some point which results in physical fatigue or exhaustion that simply makes it near impossible to function effectively. But the more I considered all this, the more I realised that I was setting a limitation for myself long before I arrived at that point of true physical exhaustion. It reminded me of a study by Dr Tim Noakes that confirms that our brain tells us that we’re tired long before we reach a state of being physically fatigued even though we are capable of much more. That poses a significant challenge to the perspectives that I’ve held on to for so long. I always assumed that being able to read my physical symptoms would be the surest way to make informed decisions about my emotional well being, but it turns out that it’s not as straight forward as that.

    And so I contemplated my current frustration with the on-going seemingly endless cycle of pressure that we’ve been under for more than a month now, and each time I felt like indulging myself with the defeatist proclamation of ‘I’ve had enough’, I knew that I was still capable of dealing with more. Funny how my attitude determined when enough was enough rather than any real physical or emotional constraints I was faced with. Through this painful exercise of working with some of the most amazingly inept resources I’ve ever had to contend with in my career, it has become obvious that what I am capable of is far from what I am tolerant of.

    I guess the focus needs to shift towards improving my tolerance and therefore my abilities to navigate around issues that challenge my tolerance levels, rather than to constantly focus on subject matter competence and relationship building. However, I suspect that this is really just scratching the surface of a bigger issue that lies beneath, that being the issue of self-worth, confidence, and emotional intelligence, each of which have a myriad of supporting issues as well. Yet again, a vicious cycle emerges. What remains clear though is the fact that I determine my capacity long before anyone else is able to push me beyond my own limits. This cup is far from full, although at times it serves my purposes to present myself as having reached a threshold that is reasonable to be considered a limitation of wits and patience for any reasonable person.

    Even in that there is little comfort, because in so doing, I am reminded that I am merely comparing myself to the mediocre, rather than striving to exceed such levels of complacency.

  • They miss the point!

    I have a tendency to seek the potential in people and then proceed to encourage them towards realising that potential. I do this because I am naïve enough to believe that that is truly the aspiration of all of us. You know? That age old claim that says that we want others to believe in us because we’re so precious and we have so much to offer but we’re just waiting for the right opportunity and the right support and the right everything to come along before we can take that pathetic step forward to suggest that we actually have something to offer. It’s all bullshit.

    I’ve realised that the most gut wrenching and draining thing you could ever do is apply yourself towards the upliftment of others. Why? Simple. People are lazy by nature. They’re lazy and un apologetically uninspired because the few that pursue their passions are mocked and ridiculed for being different, while the rest are preoccupied with fitting in and being ridiculously unique just like everyone else.

    Yes, I am annoyed and disheartened. More so at the fact that there is always an overwhelming chorus of people chanting for change, but as soon as the choir breaks up, they’re the first to run home to enjoy their celebration of mediocrity while living life through the achievements of their icons that are nothing more than fictional tales they see in the gossip columns of the tabloids. The stench of puny thinking is repulsive. People look at things and immediately decide what is good enough to get past what they’re faced with, while just a small group will actually consider how can they take what they are faced with and turn it into something larger than life.

    I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to understand the human psyche because of a naïve notion that suggested that it is fear and nothing else that limits us in what we can achieve. I thought that by understanding those fears I would be able to help them see past that limitation and thereby unlock a beauty that would amaze even them. Of course understanding their fears was always only ever a result of me seeking to understand my own first. But they never get that. The default assumption is that if I am able to articulate what constricts them, then I must be free of it myself. I must have never experienced it hence my ability to seemingly trivialise what they feel.

    They just don’t get it. In all my efforts I’ve tried to demonstrate to them that they are innately capable of greater things without the need for a guide or mentor or other pillar of strength to lean on. However, I didn’t realise that in doing so, they automatically turned me into their crutch to achieve more. That is not nearly a compliment to me when considered within the context of the disappointment it spawns. Each time I believe they’ve reached a new level of confidence and capability, I’ve found that they were only acting out of compliance with what they deemed to be my expectations rather than because they had a sincere conviction in the values that I thought we shared.

    This is an unapologetically self-indulgent rant. It is a trickle of what needs to be vented in order to regain some balance in my perspective on life and people. I have trusted in the human goodness that is often celebrated, but each time it has resulted in the degradation of relations because the burden of expectation was greater than the willingness to be true. The impossibility of perfection should never be reason enough to dissuade us from its pursuit. Unfortunately, too often, we’re prone to believe that only icons or celebrated leaders are capable of such accomplishments, while conveniently forgetting that a human exists behind the façade that they have imposed on them.

  • It’s Probably Possible

    I’ve often been accused of expecting too much from people, only to realise that they in fact expect too little from themselves. I’ve seen this play out on numerous occasions where I’ve demanded a level of delivery from colleagues or family members that was slated as unrealistic, only to see them achieve their targets anyway. To me, it proved that my observations of their self-imposed limitations were true. If I was indeed expecting too much, they would never have met the supposedly unrealistic expectations, but because they expected too little from themselves, they assumed that they were incapable of doing so to begin with and therefore started out on the back foot.

    There is a fundamental difference between those with a can-do attitude and those with a I-see-a-problem-in-everything attitude. The one looks at the possibilities while the other focuses on the probabilities. As much as it sounds like a play on words, yet another accusation leveled against me on several occasions, there is a simple truth in it. When you consider probabilities, it immediately demands a focus on the expected hurdles, constraints, and other problems that may be experienced in trying to achieve something. Couple this with the predisposition that most have regarding their low expectations from themselves, and inevitably you end up with an individual that is going to be risk averse and safe, never pushing the boundaries, and rarely leading any efforts at all. In other words, you end up with a follower, often a blind one as well.

    Such followers are easily capable of deflecting attention away from their negative attitude by offering ideas and suggestions indicating support and constructive input about how those hurdles and obstacles can be navigated. Worse than this, they probably don’t even realise what limitations they’re placing on themselves by focusing on the probability factors only, which makes it even more sad. But the reality is, they’ll help you fight the good fight, but they’ll never take you into new territory. Within the workplace, they will be the optimisers and renovators but never the innovators.

    If you start out looking at what is the ideal, and considering what is possible, ignoring the hurdles and the obstacles, chances are good that you’ll find ways to sell that vision to others in a way that will give them reason to stop being so fixated on the distractions and instead, to use their skills at navigating around obstacles to help you achieve the common vision. Chances are, you’ll find yourself leading others through situations that would seem daunting to most. By default, a focus on possibilities emphasises a grounding in principles, which ultimately sets the foundation for leadership. Like someone said recently, leaders take you to places that you weren’t going to before.

    I’ve always subscribed to the simple philosophy of starting out with the ideal in mind. Once that ideal vision has been created, then only tamper it with reality and practicality, but don’t sell it short just because others don’t see what you see. At times when the overwhelming majority are ready to throw in the towel because the probability of success is low, that’s when it’s important to revisit the vision you first embraced and to re-energise yourself around what is possible so that you can look beyond the probabilities of failure that you’re facing at that point.

  • Managers, Leaders, and Collaboration

    Rather than quote case studies on this, I prefer to share a few random thoughts on what has proven to be effective for me and the teams that I have worked with. To unlock collaboration, you must abandon team meetings. It might sound counter-intuitive, but it works.

    Setting up regular meetings (like the ones that generally set the tone in most projects) run according to the text books of ‘best’ practices, sets the expectation that collaboration beyond your immediate accountability is constrained to only that time set aside for the meeting. When we provide structure beyond just delegations of authority, or accountability for delivery, we hinder performance and encourage individualistic approaches to dealing with problems facing a project, or a team. In other words, we inadvertently push the agenda of the hero rather than the team and we create the perfect climate and culture in which heroes thrive. Getting recognition for your efforts in a team setting of the type described here is a further catalyst to encourage lone-ranger behaviour rather than creating an environment conducive towards collaboration.

    Leadership by facilitation is a powerful skill that can unlock potential in teams and individuals in ways that no amount of coaching or mentoring will be able to equal. The reason why this is seldom practiced is because most leaders are managers first, before they are leaders. In more than two years of running a software testing team, among other functions, we have yet to have a real team meeting. Even when we had ‘team meetings’, it was ad hoc and focused on a specific concern or issue of alignment that needed to be addressed, rather than having a team meeting for the sake of meeting with the team. Regular informal interaction between team members that is focused on clearly defined objectives always yields much better results than dictating who is responsible for what. How often haven’t you seen bright individuals recede simply because they felt overwhelmed by the heroes and bullies in the team?

    Consider this. When you have a team meeting, the agenda usually includes items focused on providing feedback on outstanding actions, allocating new issues to someone for resolution/action, or providing general feedback to staff about what has transpired since the last meeting. All those agenda items confirm only one thing to me. Team meetings are focused on the allocation of individual responsibilities rather than team goals, but are disguised to look as if it’s a team effort that is taking place. To prove this, look around the table at your next meeting and see how many people adopt a sheepish grin when asked about whether or not they read the minutes from the last meeting?

    The moment we avoid establishing routine interactions, we set the scene for spontaneity. I work with various guiding principles in mind that inform the way I engage with others. One of it states that every individual is competent until proven otherwise. Another says that every individual is a mature adult until proven wrong. And yet another favourite is that every individual has an innate need to be recognised for their contribution while being allowed sufficient latitude to employ their personal flair of creativity in the way they arrive at the set objectives. These principles always foster a culture of mutual respect, accountability, and transparency. People clam up and become territorial when they feel like their significance is threatened or questioned. That significance is often challenged if they have reason to believe that their competence is being doubted or questioned.

    More often than not we don’t directly challenge anyone’s significance or competence, but the way in which we trust them, guide them, allow them to act independently, and respect the delegation of authority that we provide them with, collectively reveals how seriously we consider their input or their contribution. You’ll never be able to engage in a meaningful way if you’re managing by team meetings, because just as that sets the expectation for team members to primarily be accountable to that forum, it also sets the expectation that the manager of that team is only expected to engage meaningfully during that session as well.

    The more I try to isolate collaboration and aspects relating to leadership, the more they seem to become intertwined, and perhaps in that there is much truth as well. A manager will be prone to taking a rigid approach towards managing the outputs of a team if that is the limit of their confidence in being able to command the respect and commitment from the team. A leader on the other hand will feel much more inclined to trust, and provide principled leadership that encourages individual-level collaboration and accountability that align with the project or organisational objectives, without feeling a need to enforce their idea of how those objectives should be reached.

    There is an inherent desire in every one of us to want to contribute to a greater purpose. A leader will demonstrate, and therefore share their passion for the organisational goals which in turn will inspire their subjects to aspire to contribute towards the stated goals. However, a manager will assume the role of defining the individual components required to achieve that goal, and will subsequently delegate accountability for those components and then simply expect compliance in the achievement of those goals.

  • White privilege and other bull

    I would normally ignore topics like this, but it’s been cluttering my dash, so here’s my penny’s worth, if anything.

    I think people that pull the race card are running low on logic. I come from South Africa so think carefully before you accuse me of being ignorant or naive about racial issues or racial tensions. I lived through apartheid in my early adult years, and I continue to live through the challenges of a post-apartheid era where reverse discrimination is the order of the day. 

    So for those that believe it’s about white privilege, consider this. If you come to South Africa, I’ll show you black privilege till it nauseates you. Go to India and I’ll show you brown privilege till it turns your stomach. Go to the trailer parks of America and I’ll challenge you to show me white privilege. It’s simple. People are as privileged as you allow them to be. This is especially true in the context of society rather than legislated privileges by government. 

    The apartheid government of South Africa was one of the last bastions of such racial stupidity that I am aware of, so anyone still feeling like they’re the victims of white privilege are in fact victims of their own victim-conscious mentality. If people of colour treat white people as if they’re special, then vent at the POC that do so, and don’t blame the whites for enjoying such elevated ‘hospitality’. That’s like saying that the current generation of white South Africans that were born after 1994 are still to be held accountable for the trespasses of the idiocy of the former generations. The logic is simply astoundingly stupid.

    It’s this same deranged mentality of ‘white privilege’ that feeds the slum-mentality of so many individuals of colour. A white person is not responsible for the moral decay of a black person, nor is a black person responsible for the opportunists that hide behind white privilege. When we stop playing the race card to feed our weakness that prevents us from acting outside of our stereotypical roles that society has endowed on us, that’s the day we’ll rise above the stupidity of attacking people just because they are recipients of unwarranted respect or admiration, rather than recognising that it is the pathetically submissive masses that have yet to rise above the effects of white dominance through the colonial years that are actually responsible for the effects of white privilege that we see today. 

    It requires an independent mind to treat an individual as an individual. When you lack such independent-minded thinking, you’ll hide behind whatever card will suit your fancy and camouflage your insecurities. Unfortunately that card is most convenient when it’s titled with the word ‘race’. 

    Edit: I am a person of colour. So I’m sorry to take away that convenience for any intended slanderous comments about my position on this as well. But I refuse to act according to the stereotypes that people have in their minds just so that I avoid the risk of being labelled an apologist or worse. It’s about individual merit, and nothing else. If you believe it’s about more than this, you’re paying attention to the wrong agenda.

  • Disordered Minds

    For those of you that had a good laugh at my expense regarding my niece’s association between her topic for a speech at school and me, I thought I’d share the final product of what I wrote for her. The actual topic was Disordered Minds and not Destructive Minds. I’m still not too keen on the association though. There’s some subtle self-indulgence given that she is not aware of this blog of mine, so I included a few of my own quotes in the third person, in the hope of indoctrinating her with my ramblings. 🙂

    I’m eighteen. It’s that age when I believe I have all the answers and grow frustrated at the stupidity of the world. It’s also that age when the intensity of my emotions often overpowers my sense of reason. Worse still, it’s that age when the government believes that by having existed for this long, I am supposedly capable of making important life-altering decisions for myself. But nonetheless, it is an age full of passion, often misguided, but always full of desire to change the world. I’ve lived an interesting life, often with more challenges than most, but those challenges have shaped me into who I am today.

    This realisation of self has not come easily. It has come at the expense of significant sacrifices and often tough choices. Before you dismiss me as being smug or conceited, hear what I have to say, then reflect on it, and lastly be brutally honest with yourself about the truth of it within the context of your own life.

    When faced with the prospect of having to write a speech on a selection of topics made available to me, I couldn’t decide between Disordered Minds or True Love. This confusion arose not only because I can often relate to both, but also because I see so much genius being wasted around me. True love is often quoted as being the trigger for much insanity in this world. This world is still a largely undiscovered space for me, although having access to Google often fools me and many of my peers into believing that we have acquired a level of wisdom that elevates us beyond many adults in our lives. However, we fail to realise the difference between the acquisitions of knowledge, versus the acquisition of wisdom. So I won’t assume to be an authority on true love, which leaves me with no other option but to write about that which plagues me most, a disordered mind.

    “A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.”

    This quote by Kurt Vonnegut reminds me of the reality of life as a teenager. Allow me to repeat that. A sane person to an insane society must appear insane. There is wisdom in this beyond what is immediately obvious. One of the points this raised for me is that in my quest to determine the course of my life, I often fail to realise that I may not be using the correct point of reference against which to determine the soundness of my decisions. Having the correct point of reference makes the difference between peace and chaos, or intelligence and stupidity. I also realised that my point of reference must be aligned with the value system that I want to live by. But this would mean that I would need to have established my value system before choosing, or else my choice will be grossly misinformed.

    Consider this. Would you watch the evening news or Isidingo* to determine the state of reality in South Africa? Although I must admit that with all the shenanigans by politicians these days, Isidingo is not far off. But seriously though, by extension, it would be foolish of me to look to other similarly troubled teenagers for direction on how to lead my life, when they’re obviously grappling with the same or similar issues as I am. This is what I mean by choosing my points of reference.

    Being bombarded with nonsensical and often inappropriate adult themes in movies, advertising, and promotions of all kinds, it makes it easy to assume that what we see around us is the only reality there is. If we just scratched very lightly beneath the surface, we’ll quickly witness how it all falls apart. Most of our choices are driven by a single feeble motivator; that is social acceptance. More often than not, I see people doing things they despise simply because their need for acceptance is greater than their need for self-respect.

    “Of all the things we take for granted in life, our power of choice is probably the most abused gift we’ll ever receive.”

    These are the words of a blogger that goes by the name of ‘Cynically Jaded’.  There’s one more thought that the same blogger shared that I believe is most appropriate right now:

    “There are two things in this world that should never define you. Society, and age.”

    Disordered minds are those that cave in to peer pressure and forget what they stand for. Disordered minds are a social liability. Be true to who you are, and remember that only those that stood apart managed to change the world, because those that tried to fit in faded into the background of the crowds that tried to be just like everyone else. Normal is over rated. I’d rather be unique.

    *Isidingo – South African soapie that often deals with topical issues affecting the average South African.