Blog

  • Awkwardly regrettable

    Awkwardness is having to tell your friends that have turned into acquaintances about an important milestone in your life while suppressing the demons that beckon the memories of the mocking ridicule that was disguised as friendly jabs at the news of your last divorce. The laziness and callousness of people is most evident when they see fit to make fun of a traumatic event without having embraced the reality of it first.

    I have always had a tendency to take things in my stride, regardless of the pain or humiliation that accompanied the experience. More than anything else, this provided a graceful exit for those around me that were handicapped in their skills at dealing with such grave circumstances. I was raised in a family where physical shows of affection were avoided at all costs. The odd embrace would be a formality of greeting at specific occasions only. Even on occasions of death, there was always an awkwardness in the embraces received from siblings, if received at all.

    I chose to finally share the news of my recent marriage with some ‘friends’ of mine. It wasn’t a very long list, and it didn’t really qualify as friends for the most part. More like acquaintances that I’ve allowed into my personal space. Having a friend is a foreign concept for me. It requires a level of trust and acceptance, not to mention commitment, that I’ve grown weary of. Friends have been a convenient presence in my life until the point where my life’s experiences became too burdensome for them. By the way, that convenience was on their part, not my own.

    Betrayal has become a clichéd part of my life. I don’t expect it, but I don’t dismiss it either. More often than not, the reason for betrayal has been the weakness on the part of the betrayer rather than any inherent sense of dishonesty in the person that I may have once trusted. That weakness manifests itself when it demands commitment, selflessness, or most often, when it demands that we face our past demons in the experiences of those close to us. That’s when most recede because the experience is suddenly too close to home.

    To the one that’s betrayed, the reason or justification is irrelevant. It still remains what it is. And trying to define it only nurtures the regret and the awkwardness. So instead, I’ll leave it to fester so that I have a companion to look forward to when I’m peering at the end of the road on the horizon waiting…just waiting.

  • imaan-daar:

    Oh, Africa.

    (Source: http://weheartit.com/entry/28877398)

  • These are the words of someone who fully understood singing and its effects, for no one regularly sings or listens to song except that his heart falls into (nifaq) Hypocrisy without him realizing. If such a person understood the reality of nifaq and its end he would see it in his own heart. Never do the love of song and the love of Qur`an come together in a person’s heart except that one expels the other. I and others have witnessed how heavy the Qur`an feels to singers and song-listeners; how they coil when it is recited and how they get angry with a reciter when he recites too long for them (in prayer etc); and how their hearts do not benefit from what he recites: they are not moved to do anything by it. But when the Qur`an of Shaytân comes, la ilaha illallah! How they lower their voices and settle down! How their hearts feel at peace and how the crying and emotions start, how moved they are inwardly and outwardly and spend on clothing and perfume and staying up hoping for a long night ahead. If this is not nifaq then it is certainly the way to it and its foundation.

    Ibn Al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) [Madaarij Al-Saalikeen] (via byyourmercyallah)

  • Quote

  • Suicide

    Suicide is a reflection of your self-worth, and not the worth that society places on you. We cannot act selfishly and still demand compassion and understanding from others. The two are mutually exclusive, and hypocritical if demanded. Life is therefore not about the rights of the individual, but the rights of the collective whole. Logic and nature dictates that it can be nothing less.

    Cynically Jaded (via cynicallyjaded)

  • Nasheed – Ya Akhi

    This nasheed by Ahmad Bukhatir has often played in my head since I first heard it. For some reason, I always sub-consciously substituted his words of ‘Ya Akhi’ with ‘Ya Allah’, but now that I’ve finally seen the English translation, I realise that it may not be entirely appropriate. I’m not exactly certain as to who he refers to in this nasheed, but I could draw many parallels with the way in which Rasulullah (SAW) is a source of comfort through his teachings and guidance that he left for us. 

    The melodious and soothing tone of this nasheed appeals to me. It doesn’t by any means serve as a prayer or religious icon in any way, it just is a nasheed that I’ve grown fond of since the first time I heard it.

    (Source: http://www.youtube.com/)

  • Random thought

    Reading through some of my recent posts, I realised how much I annoy myself. I hate that I constantly tend towards speaking of ‘we’ instead of ‘me’. There’s a strong undertone of arrogance in such a presumptuous position, by assuming that I am capable of speaking on behalf of others when in fact my observations are nothing but a reflection of my own life’s experiences. 

    It seems sincerity and humility are still whiling away in  the distance whilst I delude myself into believing that I’ve acquired it already. Like they say, the mere profession of humility is in itself arrogance. 　

  • Sheikh Google

    Many take a condescending tone when referring to ‘Sheikh Google’ but from what I can tell, Sheikh Google is exposing more disbelievers to Islam, and facilitating more reversions than any real life sheikh I’ve heard of. The risk of misinformation is no different than the potential of interested parties innocently contacting misguided scholars or imams in their search for Islamic knowledge. But again, it’s more a clever twist of words that makes it an attractive phrase rather than its genuine appeal to intellect and wisdom.

    Yet another example of the ‘scholars’ or students of knowledge misconstruing the medium for the content that is available through it. Also a really good example of extremism by dismissing an entire channel for education simply because some abuse it. That’s like saying that knives should be made haraam because some people kill and injure and rob others with it. 

    An absence of logic in the pursuit of scholarly titles is in fact a major disservice to the Ummah rather than a fulfilment of a calling to Allah’s path.