Tag: seinedoll

  • Question – Choices

    seinedoll replied to your post: seinedoll replied to your quote: Our past only…

    This is exactly what I mean. Perhaps I’m paying for the past with living in perpetual anxiety. Perhaps it will resurface too. Who knows. Either way I’ll pay for it.

    We always pay for it, one way or another. So it’s hardly necessary for us to torment ourselves about it in the process because I believe that if we’re sincere, the trials that befall us in life is a direct result of that which we previously perpetrated against others. It always reminds me of that verse from Surah Baqara that says:

    Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. ~ Qur’an 2:286

    The verse that immediately follows it is probably the most important plea to Allah that any believer can make (in my opinion anyway):

    “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.” ~ Qur’an 2:286

    Feeling guilty or expecting to pay for what you did, and letting it show in the way you handle similar situations in future is reflective of remorse. Those that lack remorse are usually arrogant, condescending and inconsiderate in their demeanour. The world is full of people like that. Excessive guilt over past mistakes can be unnecessarily damaging to the point where it prevents us from pursuing good actions as well. It’s a vicious cycle that usually has no end in sight, which is why it’s important to remain grounded about it. That’s why we’re taught that:

    None of you should die without expecting good from Allah.

    [Sahih Muslim, Book 40, Number 6877]

    This is starting to sound like a bayaan. 🙂 But I guess I need these reminders more than anyone else, since like many others, I am my own worst enemy. Besides, we live in a world where there is no shortage of people that want to rub your nose in your past mistakes, so why do it to yourself?

  • Question – Choices

    seinedoll replied to your quote: Our past only rules our hearts and minds as long…

    What if the past can resurface at any moment?

    I know what you mean. It happens to me often. The only time it ever knocks me off balance (so to speak) is when it’s related to an incident that didn’t have closure. I’m usually quite pedantic in getting the truth out of others when it comes to disagreements that lead to people going their separate ways, because that way, I’m not left wondering about what-if’s forever. But, unfortunately, more often than not, the more important issues are rarely accompanied by the closure we need, in which case I just keep reminding myself that Allah saved me from something that would have been detrimental to my being. And I also remind myself that (in the case of an unpleasant relationship experience) the actions that played out were reflective of who they were, and not who I am. Either way, it sucks. :-/

  • Question – To Blog or Reblog?

    seinedoll replied to your post: runesofthedead answered your question: I think…

    Maybe some of us don’t write because they can’t.

    :p 

    Look who’s talking!

    It’s not the writing style only that appeals to me. And I definitely don’t consider myself a writer. It’s just the insight that is offered into how someone may view the world so that I have an opportunity to either relate, or to obtain a fresh perspective. In a strange way, it affords me a connection with others that has been rare in my real life. So I guess it’s a selfish indulgence. Me wanting to connect with others in a way that isn’t normally possible given the social prejudices and constraints that prevent it otherwise. 

  • seinedoll replied to your post: Personal Reflections

    Cheer up please! Everything is in your head.

    🙂 thanks…it is mostly in my head…except for the weight gain! That’s definitely not in my head! I decided tonight that I’ll write the story of me…if not for any reason other than the hope that it will lighten the burden of the realities that I hold inside that have yet to be shared with anyone around me. 

    Time will tell…the ghosts of lifetimes past never quite leave. They just saunter around in the shadows waiting for a moment of weakness or a lull in your spirits, before they surge straight through you, leaving you bewildered, without any trace of their presence, except the hints of remorse, regret, hope and most often, disbelief. Disbelief at how sincere naivety could be ridiculed as stupidity because I lacked the faculties to be suspicious. Bah!

    The greatest challenge has never been about moving forward. That’s easy. The difficulty lies in trusting that others will receive your efforts positively so that you can realise those goals that will provide the much needed comfort and companionship. But when most are inclined to judge without knowledge, the most noble of endeavours, or even the greatest of achievements fade into a heap of social worthlessness that threatens to disembowel you had it not been for the fact that such social appraisals are inconsequential to your sanity. 

    But sanity isn’t much to celebrate at times when it’s not able to be shared. And this is turning out to be far too morbid, so it’s time for me to shut it. 🙂