I pray that you never will understand some of what I’m going through, some of what I feel, or some of what I think…because to understand you would need to experience what I’ve experienced. And I wouldn’t want you to feel the pain and the anguish that I’ve felt that made me feel, see and think the way I do. Although it’s the same pain and anguish that has given me this appreciation for life, for a smile on a stranger’s face, or for the chirping of the birds. My wish is for you to learn from my experiences and the experiences of others because there’s so much more to life than the opportunity to make your own mistakes.
The only way you can cheat time is to learn from the accumulated wisdom of generations past. But if you insist on learning it all yourself, know that you’ll never learn more than anyone who has lived only a single lifetime without any wisdom to draw on. Know that your pain and your anguish will be unnecessary, and know that your life would only ever be half-lived, if even that. So instead I pray that you are able to cheat time, acquire a wisdom beyond what you may inherit, and give your children more than what you had to cheat time with. And if you do this, know that you have achieved more than any human being can be expected to achieve in a single lifetime. This is the only path to immortality that I know.
Tag: anguish
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To my daughters…
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To my daughter…
I pray that you never will understand some of what I’m going through, some of what I feel, or some of what I think…because to understand you would need to experience what I’ve experienced. And I wouldn’t want you to feel the pain and the anguish that I’ve felt that made me feel, see and think the way I do. Although it’s the same pain and anguish that has given me this appreciation for life, for a smile on a stranger’s face, or for the chirping of the birds. My wish is for you to learn from my experiences and the experiences of others because there’s so much more to life than the opportunity to make your own mistakes.
The only way you can cheat time is to learn from the accumulated wisdom of generations past. But if you insist on learning it all yourself, know that you’ll never learn more than anyone who has lived only a single lifetime without any wisdom to draw on. Know that your pain and your anguish will be unnecessary, and know that your life would only ever be half-lived, if even that. So instead I pray that you are able to cheat time, acquire a wisdom beyond what you may inherit, and give your children more than what you had to cheat time with. And if you do this, know that you have achieved more than any human being can be expected to achieve in a single lifetime. This is the only path to immortality that I know.
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Fragile
“
I wish I could stop after looking at the facade,
Instead of always peering at what lies beyond
It’s that inquisitive care that I cannot subdue
That concern for the pain that reflects in her eyes
That draws me in to want to ease her anguish
And leaves me ravaged when she finds her wings
And seeks out another that only sees her facade
So that the elaborate defences she can continue to maintain…
Anything to protect her fragility
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(Cynically Jaded)
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Choices
The only thing more tragic than loneliness is a person who chooses to be alone when they have an option not to be. Someone once told me that we shouldn’t make a priority in our lives those that have us only as an option in theirs. But that’s easier said than done, like so many things in life. Being an armchair critic is so convenient. I digress.
What am I to do if I feel the anguish of a kindred spirit, see with absolute clarity and certainty their martyr-like behaviour driven by their need to appease dear ones to the detriment of their own soul; yet not being able to get them to reach out and accept some of the warmth that is on offer and so desired by them as well? Do I walk away and leave them to their own devices because it is after all their choice? Or do I fight on at the expense of my own spirit until the heart dearest to mine finally embraces some of the peace that is yearning to be shared? What will become of my own sense of self-worth if that embrace never comes? Will the eternal optimist in me scrape myself off that cold floor yet again, or will my spirit be so exhausted that I’ll finally yield and accept defeat? I’m so close to yielding already…so so close.
Will I eventually choose yet another convenient option in the aftermath of the harshest rejection yet, despite the destruction and havoc that the convenient options have caused already? No, yielding is so much more safer this time…another convenient option just won’t do…and so, I yield…