Blog

  • Why you can’t trust your doctor’s advice…

    http://ethicalnag.org/2009/11/09/nejm-editor/

    In case you thought it was safe to trust your doctor, or pharmacist, you can’t. Not because they’re dishonest, but because even they can’t trust the research information that they’re being fed about new treatment options. Read this article if you don’t believe me…

    “It is simply no longer possible to believe much of the clinical research that is published, or to rely on the judgment of trusted physicians or authoritative medical guidelines. I take no pleasure in this conclusion, which I reached slowly and reluctantly over my two decades as an editor of The New England Journal of Medicine.” ~ Dr Marcia Angell

  • Rose Coloured Delusions

    There is a rot that starts with our assumptions of being so unique that no one else knows our fears or our insecurities. It’s a rot that suggests that if we trust openly, we’ll be mortally wounded and humiliated to the point of self-loathing. This rot is reflected in the headlines that spew forth the accomplishment of some woman in South Africa that has apparently been voted the sexiest woman on the planet. This rot is further expressed in our willingness to indulge in useless fads and trends that make us seem more hip and happening (archaic term used deliberately to demonstrate how ridiculous it is to have ‘cool’ terms to use) so that everyone around us can admire us and aspire to want to be like the image they’ve conjured up in their heads about us.

    This rot…stinks. This rot is what is responsible for groups like FEMEN having a platform, for people like the ANC government of South Africa being revered while raping this country of it’s intellectual, material, economical, and moral wealth, to name only a few domains of corruption. The common denominator in all this is simply the allure of an image driven by unashamed vanity that is cloaked in a pretense of success. When some resist the temptation to be drawn into this downward spiral that leads to a cesspool of base desires, they’re seen as backward, out of touch, or old fashioned.

    The truth is, those that chase that perfect body, that perfect outfit, that perfect hairdo, or that perfect job, they’re the ones that are out of touch. My blog dashboard recently reflected the tragedies of life by someone who witnessed the murder of her own mother followed by the ‘suicide by cop’ of her father juxtaposed against someone who was pursuing a marriage interest. Between these two poles of life, there were others lamenting their weight, their job, their social standing, their image, and a number of other complaints, with very few showing any sincere passion to celebrate life, or at least their life.

    The fickleness of this pervasive ‘modern’ (read secular) culture carries nothing but destruction with it. Its romanticised notions of freedom and liberation are almost always distilled down to the reality of it being an extended experience of a fleeting emotion that was sustained by the imagination of one that is hopeful about reality. However the reality is, much of what the west has given us has slowly but surely resulted in the decay of society, the erosion of wholesome moral values, the ravaging of the environment due to its excessively indulgent consumerist approach to individuality, and its complete abandonment of community to the point where we seek communities online because we don’t recognise our neighbours any longer, and we dump our parents in homes because it’s ‘our time’.

    A casual glimpse of the images of life portrayed in so many online collections of western photographers (oh, the irony) reflecting their experiences and observations of communities and families in non-western settings reveals the almost profound sense of sincerity and joy in a way of life that is rich in culture and social cohesion, while getting by on a fraction of what is needed just to be deemed civil in the west. Those societies that show signs of aspiring to adopt the luxuries or privileges of a so-called first world lifestyle are already reflecting the fatigue and loneliness that accompanies such a choice. The only communities in the west that do not show the ravages of this modern lifestyle are those that still hold on to their traditional values without giving it up to the decay where religion, spirituality, and extended family responsibilities are mocked and ridiculed, to name a few.

    We live in a time of extreme dysfunction to the point where it’s nearly impossible to even recognise it any longer. The retarded way of life has become the norm, so only those that are excessively putrid in how they conduct their lives are actually excluded from main stream society, while the rest keep embellishing their lives with trinkets and distractions that are truly meaningless, but symbolically powerful. No wonder we’re always so tired and the average home cooked meal is no longer sufficient to sustain us without a healthy dose of hamster-like exercise and dietary supplements.

    There is much value and peace of mind in not being obliged to society. It’s easy to achieve as well. Unfortunately in order to do so, we need to know what we stand for and what we desire to achieve independent of those symbolically powerful trinkets and embellishments that have become the frame of our reference of a life well lived.

  • Reflections

    I’ve been wanting to write a post for a while now, but recently I’ve been wondering how much of what I write is still reflective of what I need to express? At times my blog reminds me of the cries of a frustrated nobody that is pleading for sanity to prevail, but there is no one around to hear those pleas. I miss taking the time to ramble about my quirks and my observations, and it shows in the level of clutter that I carry with me these days. The clutter distracts me from the point of unrelated conversations and often ends with me responding on issues that would otherwise not even interest me.

    I need to return to that place of indulgence where my thoughts flow from clutter to fingertips without prompting, and my mental clarity restores without effort. Those moments of reflection are often the first to be sacrificed when the clutter becomes overwhelming. However, although seemingly counter-intuitive, it’s exactly those moments of reflection that should enjoy priority as the clutter increases. I can’t help my nature as much as I should, hence I find myself prone to responding to the inane urgencies of the day while often being distracted from the important. I suspect this trait alone firmly establishes me as one of the masses.

    Being one of the masses, and increasingly realising exactly how common I am, further creates doubt in my mind about whether or not I have anything meaningful to share. Even just discussing or mentioning that thought leaves me feeling as if it’s a cloaked attempt at soliciting pity or affirmation. It isn’t. I never doubt that there is a greater purpose that I am able to fulfil, but my ability to identify it and apply myself towards its fulfilment is always elusive because of the clutter.

    This is an incomplete post, which is reflective of the incomplete thought process that spawned it. 

  • Old School Modesty

    I’ve never been one to mince my words when it comes to sharing my perspectives on morality, respect, and simple values that I believe makes life wholesome and dignified. The amount of pandering to political correctness these days is sickening. Fair enough to say that to each their own, but when that perspective suddenly becomes legislated, then it’s no longer to each their own, but rather to all will be the acceptance of the unacceptable.

    But this post is not about what I find wrong with the moral decline of society across every nation and every religion in general. This is my outburst, or maybe even just my plea for sanity and common sense in a time when dignity is a foreign concept and everything is about acceptable limits only. What is too much or too little is discussed as the focal point of modesty and respect, rather than an holistic approach to what truly maintains the dignity of a human being.

    I often get young girls lamenting the fact that they have really bad or non-existent relationships with their fathers. Many, if not most of them, go as far as stating that they don’t give a damn about whether or not their father is a part of their life, or will be a part of some really significant life events, and more often than not those breakdowns are a result of a lack of self-respect on the part of the daughter. This does not in any way justify or excuse the behaviour of those pathetic fathers that are absent in their daughter’s lives. That can never be excused.

    This is about the father that tried to maintain a healthy relationship with his daughter but was prevented from doing so because she felt inclined to be womanly before being a daughter. I look at young girls with their fathers and I wonder how is it possible for them not to feel shame about the way they dress in front of them let alone in public? A father should never have to lower his gaze when looking at his daughter. If he does, that speaks volumes about the disrespect that his daughter has for him.

    We wonder why incest, family rape, sexual molestation, and similar despicable acts are on the increase, but we don’t question how we conduct ourselves as a society, or even as a family unit? When daughters feel nothing about appearing sexually alluring in front of their fathers, or brothers for that matter, then don’t be surprised when her male family members either disrespect her, want to have nothing to do with her, or treat her in ways that are morally questionable.

    Am I placing the blame only on daughters? Not at all. There is as much that can be said about the parenting skills of many fathers, and mothers. But right now, I’m incensed by the complaints of girls that come from decent homes with fathers that are not absent, that still maintain them, and that are not abusive, on drugs, or alcohol, or even cigarettes, and in fact are even religiously grounded in many cases, yet the girls find it more important to establish their identities as women regardless of the impact it may have on their relationships with significant male role models that they will inevitably regret not having around later in life.

    Modesty is for sale, and dignity is not even in the catalogue anymore. Worse than this, dignity is a concept that seems to have been set aside in favour of freedom of expression and individual rights. It’s always the ones that are screaming for independence in this manner that are mourning the erosion of society and community as recalled by the old folks. Like the beloved prophet (pbuh) once said something to the effect that when modesty is gone, do as you please. If you don’t respect yourself, or even lack the presence of mind to know what that respect should entail, then don’t expect much more than that from the people around you. This juvenile concept of unconditional this and unconditional that is nothing but unconditional rubbish. When we stop expecting acceptance no matter what, maybe then we’ll start establishing wholesome relationships that are grounded on respect and dignity, rather than just common fashion, sexual, or social interests.

  • Simply Complicated

    A regular debate that I find myself caught up in is that of the views of interpreted Islam versus what I naively would like to believe is the simple and straight forward way of practicing Islam. I’ve always argued that the views of the scholars, especially the big four, were taken to the extremes by their students or adherents, rather than intended to start up what we have today which is nothing short of a clash of sectarians.

    Again naively speaking on my part, I always maintain the belief that Islam is the ultimate simple way of life. It is a way of life that should not be so complex that a simple man without an education must be able to engage and practice its wisdom without falling foul of the tenets of the faith. As always, there is a middle ground, and that middle ground must be based on practicality rather than academics. Unfortunately, from my experiences both online and offline, the implementation of the simpleness of Islam has been relegated to one of academic discourse rather than beautiful principles.

    I keep reminding myself that the companions were not the most educated lot, and in fact, nor was the beloved prophet (pbuh) either. Then I consider the current level of debate and debunking that happens in their names or from their efforts to maintain a simple guide to a wholesome life, and I really wonder if we’re over complicating a really simplistic and peaceful way of living? I think we are. Our debates are most often about the detail of rituals rather than the value of the principles being reflected in those actions. The logic behind the beauty of Islam becomes manifest when we reflect and we seek to understand the nature of man, not the nature of rituals.

    Another deeply held belief that I have is that Islam is closest to our innate nature than any other way of life we may encounter. History is replete with philosophers, scholars, students, and others trying to uncover the secrets of the most balanced lifestyle that would lead to inner peace whilst immersed in a chaotic world. Islam already has those answers, yet the majority of Muslims are struggling to cope with modern pressures because Islam is presented as a set of rituals that is independent of our basic needs.

    When we view prayer as a ritual, or charity as a burden, or when we view children as an expense or an heir rather than a gift, then we lose the very essence of that natural way of life that is so beautifully balanced in Islam. We fail to see that Islam is not a set of rituals, nor is it a law book. It is a guide to achieve the most meaningful balance in this lifetime that is possible. We complicate that balance, in fact we compromise our ability to ever achieve it when we try to implement Islam as a set of rules separate to that of our daily lives where the focus is on compliance rather than benefit.

    Heaven and hell shouldn’t feature in our considerations of what we choose to do or how we engage with others. At the risk of appearing deluded or arrogant, I honestly believe that if we viewed Islam correctly, we would see Islam in the light it was intended, which is a system so beautifully balanced, that it allows us to literally achieve the best of both worlds. We’ll find peace and fulfillment in this lifetime, while also inherently earning the best that the hereafter has to offer. Being indoctrinated with the pervasive culture of ritualistic compliance instead of principled guidance, it becomes exceedingly difficult to find that balance that was shown to us to begin with.

    The never ending sectarian arrogance of the Ummah doesn’t help either. We’re all so focused on proving that we know it better than anyone else, that proclaiming believers to be disbelievers because of a differing of opinions has become an international sport. Worse than this, we can easily relate to this concept of international relations between Muslim countries because as is evidenced in current affairs, nationalistic pride, and similarly cultural pride, has taken front stage compared to the universality that Islam offers us. Religious arrogance and excessive piety lies at the foundation of the current rot in the Ummah. While there is a hint of tolerance starting to be reflected in the tone of the statements made by various Muslim leaders, these are so few and far between that we’re still generations away from this becoming the norm.

    Muslims are in strife today even as they become the most dominant religion in the world, because that is exactly what they’ve done to Islam. They’ve turned it into a religion, a set of rules, a set of rituals, and a set of fear-infused standards of compliance, and have largely lost sight of the true beauty of Islam. May Allah guide us all, Ameen.

  • Islam versus Democracy

    I’ve seen a number of people suggest that the current state of affairs in Egypt is proof that Islam doesn’t work. I disagree. In fact if anything, it proves that democracy doesn’t work. Then when there is an illegal coup that suits the ones with the physical might over the populace, it’s framed as the will of the people. If the will of the people could be legally expressed in that manner as an acceptable form of democracy, then the USA would not be stuck with the despicable government that it is today.

    The strange thing for me is that we keep looking to have Shari’ah implemented as if it is something external to our personal lives and incumbent upon a government to enforce as a legal system only. I beg to differ. I’m  not a scholar, nor an Egyptian, and definitely not a political analyst, but it seems logical to me that if we as Muslims conducted ourselves as Muslims in a majority Muslim country (not just Egypt), then whether or not government enforced it, the principled benefits of Shariah will automatically be achieved. However, when we insist on viewing Shariah as something external to our individual selves, and we take a lethargic approach to establishing Islamic principles and practices in our lives while believing that national identities come before our identities as Muslims, then expect things to go horribly pear-shaped very quickly.

    While the events in Egypt may have triggered these thoughts, it certainly does not apply only to them. Neither Shari’ah nor Islam failed, or is failing in Egypt, or in any other Muslim-majority country. Muslims are failing, and democracy was never a feasible option to begin with. If democracy was all it was cracked up to be, there would not be civil strife across the heartland of democracy in the Americas and Europe as we’re seeing it today. But we find it necessary to delude ourselves into believing that the will of the majority is automatically more informed than the will of the minority. If that were true, the majority of this world would be intellectuals and rational human beings, and retarded fads, ridiculous fashion trends, and horrific cultural practices would never stand a chance. But reality is clearly not on the side of democracy, or capitalism for that matter, both of which appear to be increasingly difficult to tell apart these days.

  • A Brain Dump

    I’ve been struggling to focus on almost anything recently. I’ve been plagued with thoughts of ‘what next’ for a long time now. While I still have a lot of passion for what I do, my passion for doing it with the people that I do is fast fading. I’ve always managed to find avenues to express myself creatively in my work, regardless of how mundane the task at hand may seem. That hasn’t changed, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to find the patience to convince others that there is a better way to do things.

    I’m usually the one that questions the status quo while others revere it because it is a tried and tested way to do things. When people tell me about the tried and tested ways they’re familiar with, all I hear is ‘it is my safe haven, my comfort zone, my sphere of influence, so don’t you dare try to change it!’. It’s ridiculous how people can define their worth by something they achieved or were party to several years ago and still hold on to the residual glory of it all. I despise myself when I find myself doing something in 10 steps when I can do it in 8. And then I despise myself for not being able to do it in less than 8 steps, even though everyone else around me is still content with 10 steps.

    Ok, maybe ‘despise’ is a strong word to use, but the restlessness I feel inside me is not much less than the same contempt that environmentalists feel for those that don’t recycle. I’m not lazy, but I hate to apply a certain amount of effort to something when I know that I can get away with less. This frees me up to do so much more with the energy that would otherwise have been wasted. And as the days go by, my energy levels appear to be dwindling. There is much that I should be doing that I’m not even thinking about right now. This is probably the slide into that place of lethargy that sucks the life out of us before we reach a ripe age, and as aware as I am of it, I seem to be helpless in jolting myself out of it.

    Actually, I’m not helpless. I never have been. I guess this morbidity that overshadows me right now is bringing out the dramatist in me. There is a lot that I have going for myself, but I guess sometimes the uphill drag of the ball and chain can wear us down when we least expect it. Sometimes I wish I had this go-to guru that I could refer to in my life. That’s never been the case for me, which is probably why I second-guess myself so often. I often find myself wondering if things really are as uncomplicated as I see them relative to the overbearing complexity that most people seem to invite into their lives, or am I really just missing the point because I’ve always had a somewhat skewed sense of reality?

    Recently I’ve found myself contemplating what it would have been like for me if I had a meaningful role model that I could look up to and turn to for advice each time I was faced with a life altering decision, but just as soon as the thought tugs at my sentimentality, I feel that annoying realisation surfacing again. That realisation that had it been any other way I probably would not be as effective at what I do as I am today. In a recent discussion with a friend she mentioned that her pursuit of academic studies did more than just give her the foundation on which she hopes to launch her career. She said it made her feel safe because she knew she could rely on test scores and other such outcomes that would give her the affirmation and comfort that she needed to feel like she was on the right track.

    I’ve never looked for that, and I don’t know why. But in many ways I’ve also been fortunate in not having had my thinking moulded by any institutions or scholars because I was never exposed to such structures. The downside was that it felt extremely burdensome at times, but the upside which far outweighs that is the fact that I’ve never listened to anyone else when they imposed their limitations on me. I wouldn’t quite call myself a free spirit, nor would I ever consider myself to be a rebel. In fact, I’m not sure how I would define myself if I ever found a need to, and perhaps in that I’ve found much liberation and space to breathe. I’ve always been keenly aware of the perceptions that others have of me, but somehow I don’t ever recall applying myself to gain their favour despite knowing that they found much reason to ridicule me.

    I’ve often said that the resilience that I’ve demonstrated throughout my life was never something I could honestly lay claim to. It was inherent in me for as long as I can remember. Perhaps that resilience itself was only a symptom of something more. Perhaps it is a state that is acquired when we don’t try to live up to the expectations of others, and instead maintain a singular focus on the logic and purpose that would drive us to act. Perhaps my obstinacy in not succumbing to the expectations of the social structures that I despise is in fact my strength. Perhaps it isn’t.

    This road seems to be quite weary of late, but I’m not yet ready to take the path most traveled. Even if I wanted to, it would mean that I would need to have a desire to aspire to the ideals of the group whose path I would wish to choose for myself, and such a group I have yet to meet. I’m an old soul that yearns for the wholesomeness of a simple life, but am conflicted by my need to change the world into something slightly less despicable.

  • It’s not your fault…

    It’s not your fault if you grew up in a dysfunctional home, and now find yourself going through life trying to find a niche to call home, as long as that niche is not with family. It’s not your fault if you grew up in a functional home and can’t relate to the restlessness and anger of those that have grown impatient and intolerant with the prejudices of the world. It’s not your fault if you grew up in an average home that was neither dysfunctional nor functional but struck an awkward but not destructive balance between the two and now find it difficult to understand what the fuss is all about.

    It’s never your fault for how you were raised, but it is your fault if you choose to remain a product of your upbringing for the rest of your life. There is a point that we all reach in our lives when we become self-aware and uneasy about just being. That point is not reached when we turn 18, or when we turn 21, or any other age for that matter. That point is not defined by age, but instead it’s defined by our willingness to question what lies behind who we are and what we aspire to be.

    We’ve turned life into a series of superficial milestones that leave us oblivious to the major gaps in our lives that occur while we’re waiting for that next milestone before we find a reason to act. We wait to turn 18 before contemplating the future, and then we wait to turn 21 before we expect to be taken seriously, and then we wait to get a job before we feel worthy, or we wait to get a degree before we believe we have something of value to contribute to this world. We wait until we get our first job, and then we wait for each pay day, and then we wait for the annual bonus, and we wait and wait and wait. And all this time we’re blaming the system and blaming society and blaming the world for being a rotten place that celebrates scum and punishes victims. But we fail to realise that in all this waiting we’re allowing the system to define who we are and what we’re capable of achieving, and then we become disillusioned and angry when we don’t find our place in that system that is supposed to see how significant we are, or when people fail to celebrate our milestones.

    I’m not quite sure what the point of this post is. Perhaps it’s just a rant, or perhaps it’s just a brain dump. Perhaps it’s nothing. Perhaps it’s a small token of my struggle to rise above the system that has been restraining me all my life. Whatever it is, I suspect that there is some truth in between all the noise, and finding a moment in the chaos to stop and reflect on that hint of sanity in the noise is struggle that has plagued me for a long time now.