Enabling abuse

We often believe in others the way we wish they would believe in us.

Sometimes, when we give up hope in someone believing in us, we find it that much more difficult to believe in others.

It’s these same emotional commitments that drive us toward making excuses for bad behaviour from someone close to us.

As with everything in life, without moderation, making such excuses becomes harmful.

Therefore, when we keep making excuses or creating space for someone who consistently behaves badly despite having been made aware of the harm of their ways, we enable an abusive relationship.

Many feel guilty for withholding affection or support under such circumstances from fear of transacting or ‘being like them’.

However, the moment we make it about how we feel or how we want to be seen, we lose sight of the harm that we’re enabling.

Just because we disagree with someone’s behaviour doesn’t mean that we hate or condemn them.

In fact, if we truly love or care about someone, we will not enable them to behave badly because we wouldn’t want someone we love to cause harm to others or to ourselves.

The moment you condone bad behaviour beyond accepting the humanness of one who makes a mistake, you’re not doing it for them anymore, you’re doing it to protect your ego.

Too many complain about being caught up in an abusive relationship but refuse to take accountability for their contribution towards enabling the abusive cycles in which they’re trapped.

You have to own your life before you can improve it.

It always starts with you.

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