Your misery is your downfall

We rarely share with the world the conversation that we have with ourselves in our head.

Our internal conversations are only shared when we’ve exhausted all avenues in trying to understand why someone important to us could have had reason to treat us so badly.

The harsh tones and unwarranted criticism that we try to convince ourselves is true about who we are or what we’re worth is how we project on ourselves what we think a significant other thinks of us.

In other words, we put ourselves in their place and then assume why we would treat someone that way if we were them.

What we forget is that we’re not them, and they’re not us.

And the same way that our insecurities about ourselves are closely guarded secrets, the same is true for everyone else no matter how amazing we think they are.

Self-loathing is born when we assume that how others show up for us is a reflection of how they feel about us, when the reality is that they treated us the way that they did because of who they are and what they were grappling with in their own minds.

The moment we lose ourselves to self-loathing, we focus on demands for our rights to be fulfilled despite not fulfilling the rights of others.

We focus on playing on the sympathies of others so that they don’t think less of us when we fall short in showing up for them.

The war within results in the harsh treatment, or even abuse, of those around us.

While we’re feeling justified in our rage or complacency because of the self-loathing that has taken over our perspective of who we are and what we’re worthy of, we treat others the way we were once treated, with insensitivity and inconsideration.

That’s how we pay forward the misery that we received, while complaining about the miserable state of life.

We always want to believe that we’re justified in feeling miserable about life while failing to see that we’re taking for granted the very life that can lift us out of our misery.

Ingratitude for who we are is the root of our self-destruction.

It always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #selfloathing #relationshipgoals #ownyourlife