Repost: Judging to be safe

Judgement is not always harsh. But, judgement is always focused on an external standard that we think others respect.

Don’t under estimate how much this mindset causes problems in every sphere of our lives.

Before throwing in the towel on that relationship, reconnect you with the reasons that gave you hope in the first place, so that the distractions don’t leave you with regret later on.

External standards give us comfort because we don’t run the risk of making a bad decision by ourselves.

If things don’t go well, we can always say that everyone thought that it was the right thing to do.

More than this, when we live up to a standard that we know others respect, we automatically feel respected.

That way, we don’t have to go through the difficulty of earning respect by ourselves.

This mind set conditions us to judge right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse, rather than to seek understanding of why we, or others, may fall short.

This, more than anything else, undermines the quality of the relationships that we have with others, and especially with ourselves.

And remember, seeking to understand bad behaviour doesn’t mean we condone it. It just means that we have a better chance of addressing the reason for it, rather than responding to its symptoms.

Own Your Life.

It always starts with you.

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