Self-pity is never a recommendation

When we go out searching for safe spaces in which to grow, we’re more invested in hiding the shame that we feel about ourselves, than we are in growing.

Rather than focusing on pushing ourselves into spaces that are uncomfortable, we need to focus on why we feel such shame to begin with.

Shame doesn’t always feel like shame.

But, if we pay attention, we’ll note how difficult it is to talk about what we’re struggling with, or what we think we’re failing at.

That difficulty is because we’re judging ourselves for failing or being inadequate.

So we protect ourselves from that becoming visible by disguising it as our legitimate struggle against everyone and everything that treated us badly.

That’s why we polarise towards those who share such weaknesses, because there is less shame in failing together than there is in failing alone.

That’s how we limit our growth.

If you want to be successful in business, you don’t seek advice from others who have failed at it.

Similarly, if you’re not reaching your goals in life, don’t surround yourself with others who are also messing up theirs.

Choose your role models and your advisors carefully.

If you choose them out of self-pity, they’ll convince you that nothing is your fault and that everyone else is to blame, including the dead.

That may make you feel better in the moment, but it will also keep you stuck in that moment for that much longer.

It always starts with you.

Own Your Life.

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail