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Generational what?

The true destruction caused by our insecurities is that it destroys the good that we’re supposed to be creating in the lives of those around us.

Insecurity isn’t always displayed through anger or defensiveness.

Most often, to hide our insecurity, we over-compensate in spaces where we feel competent, so that we can avoid or distract attention away from that which we’re insecure about.

Like focusing on being a hard-working father or a dutiful mother because we don’t know how to show up emotionally for our children.

Or focusing on our children’s education at all costs, without connecting with the little humans behind that life of responsibility for which we’re preparing them.

Or preparing them to take over the family business because they must appreciate tradition or legacy.

As always, we can’t give what we don’t have. That’s why we can only give what we received.

The problem is, we’re always so focused on what we didn’t receive from the roles of fathers and mothers in our lives, that we didn’t pause to consider that there were fragile humans behind those roles as well.

Like us, our parents also have their insecurities as humans, but duty and responsibility also distracted them from realising that the anxiety about the future, or the frustration about the present was a sign that their emotional wellbeing was not where it needed to be.

Thus, they focused on duty and responsibility, in the hope that we would be better at it than they were, not realising that we needed to feel seen and heard beyond duty or expectation.

That’s how good intentions driven by a low self-worth can cause destruction while we think we’re creating good.

That’s how generational trauma or unhealthy family values are passed down without realising it.

If always starts with you.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose #companionship #parenting

Zaid Ismail

Author, life coach, and mental health activist. We need to change the narrative from disorders, illnesses, and survival to accountability, understanding, and thriving.

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