You don’t want anything, except to not be lonely. So you dig in the past in hopes of alleviating the internal struggle against your nafs by acquiring some type of assurance, only to be fulfilled and go about your tasks. One…two…three you don’t want anything again, except to not be lonely. Again & again & again. 

You caught me in the act. Sifting through old stuff looking for reminders that would help me to recall moments of serenity. In some way try to satisfy my need to hold a beautiful woman in my arms and take comfort in the fact that I’m the only one she embraces in return. All this especially taunting after a vivid dream I had this morning about placing my hand gently but firmly on the small of the back of a slender lady. There’s something about that specific portion of a woman’s back that is distinctly appealing to me. Not in a sexual way. Just appealing in a feminine way. 

I reminisce more than is good for me tonight.


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