You know what’s weird?
I’ve come across so many concepts and ideas; nouns and adjectives I should adopt in order to better myself.
But forgiveness is something I’ve never quite been able to internalize.
It’s a multi-faceted issue for me, but basically, there are people who have hurt me and caused me harm that I can’t find the heart to free them from blame of their doings.
Often times, words hurt the most. Especially when disgusting and foul lies are spread by mouth and cause your life to be changed by the way people now perceive you.
It makes you more angry when the very aspects of your life you focus on preserving in terms of purity and modesty are manipulated and slandered.
For this reason, I’m at a loss when it comes to understanding forgiveness in the context beyond being hurt by those who are ignorant and lacking in understanding of their actions.
When someone knows very well what they are doing,succeed in causing mass destruction in your life emotionally, and fail to acknowledge the deep scars they’ve left inwardly as well as outwardly, it’s not that I consciously banish forgiveness from my vocabulary, I just don’t know what to make of it anymore.
It is then that I become indifferent towards the whole thing, carry on, and leave it to my Lord on the Day of Reckoning.