uninspired

not finding reason for inspiration when i need it leaves me more uninspired than i was when i started realising i’m the one thats always noticing and feeling and sensing and hardly ever being noticed or sensed or felt making melancholy a state i aspire to because at least i would feel something then instead of this emotional void that defines my existence that is bereft of human attachment not for lack of wanting nor for lack of trying but simply because i lack the inspiration for another to attach because theyre looking for what im looking for and we both cant give each other what we need making the familiarity romantically tragic but infinitely depressing because i know how much the other needs what i am looking for but want to receive it first before giving it so i slip into morbidity and focus my disillusions on others believing that the purpose of my life is indeed to be an example to others so that they may realise what their life will be like if they make the mistakes that i made which is why i make my mistakes known without restraint hoping theyll appreciate the lesson behind it but only ever being judged by it instead